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I still having trouble accepting myself

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by spiderbeauty, Apr 28, 2015.

  1. spiderbeauty

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2015
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    Location:
    new england
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I keep hooking up with guys. I love women, though. I hate it. I recently went on a date with a woman, my first. Holding hands in public like it was just okay felt so calming. I have so many reasons not to officially come out and stay out. I've tried coming out a few times, but I was so afraid I had to run back in the closet and say it was a mistake. I keep trying to explain it away to myself like it's not true. I'm not sure why but I am so afraid to officially accept myself and I don't know how to do it. And I'm 25, it's been over a decade of me being a coward.
    If someone would try and help me out with how to do it, I'd appreciate it so much.
     
  2. Monraffe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2014
    Messages:
    418
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Don't wait any longer to deal wit this. It's is a very serious rut you are in and based on your tone it sounds like you might be reaching the end of your rope. At the very least you sound completely exhausted. :icon_sad:

    I think you should find a therapist. Even though you aren't having trouble with a relationship, I have found relationship therapists are usually the best for coming out situations. Keep in mind when you see any therapist they are following your lead and generally won't tell you what to do, so when you go in be sure to tell them you want help to become comfortable being gay. You said it yourself, you don't know how to do it, and that is what your goal with the therapist should be. Good luck, I hope you find a path that works out for you.
     
  3. socalnerd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2015
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    Location:
    Palmdale
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I find it's common among gay/trans people to tell friends first... it opens up a line of communication for those who are scared to tell more "important people" such as parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters. It also helps you become comfortable with just being yourself around close friends who accept you for who you are. I say come out to a friend you know wont judge you. That way you at least know what it's like to tell someone and it'll be easier for you and you'll become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.

    If you feel like you can't tell a friend or anyone really... I do suggest seeing a therapist. Hope I can help!