Help/Advice on lesbian long distance relationship

Hello, I'm new to this website and I've been looking for a place to get advice without judgement. A little background on myself... I'm a 26 year old lesbian living in So-Cal... I have a full time job which takes up most of my time. I'm currently in a long distance relationship with a beautiful lady who's 23 she lives across the country. when I was younger I had my first serious relationship which lasted 6 years lived together...the whole shabang after that i dated a bit and found myself in this relationship.

I've never met this girl in person but we are in constant communication, texting, calling and skyping every possible min. of the day. To make a long story short I just click with this girl she's everything I've ever wanted in a person the issue I'm having is that we've been dating for over two years...AGAIN we have never met in person and I've offered her to fully pay a trip for us which was set in motion but at the last min. she for one reason or another blew me off or so it seemed that way to me ... and we are trying to plan another trip for this summer but she seems reluctant in actually setting any sort of date for us to FINALLY meet up in person. Now she is living with her family (parents) and she isn't out to them... and her parents make nasty comments towards gay people every now and then which is off putting to her and makes her scared to come out, or so I think. She's also bi and has dating guys but hasn't dated one since she was in high school.

I've talked and told my story to countless friends of mine and they all seem to say the same thing to just leave her that she isn't ready... long distance never works, so on and so fourth ... but with my crazy work schedule and my added awkwardness of meeting new people. I don't know how to just date lesbians or go about dating people in my area or near me.. I really love this girl and I feel like I'm being selfish in wanting more out of this relationship but I feel as though if I'm the only one putting in some sort of effort into planning something for us to meet and she's not making any efforts I feel as though I'm wasting my time. She has also told me several times that she's going to come out to her parents but never does and I've tried breaking things off but she promises me that things will change and she'll make an effort this time but I feel as though I'm the one who is always bringing up the, "hey have you looked at places you'd like to go with me?" ON TOP OF IT ALL I have been faithful so over two years without sleeping with anyone is a long time which is another reason my friends tell me to just let this go.

Now for the questions... am I being selfish for wanting more? Does it seem like I'm asking for to much? Should I give her an ultimatum? If I do break up with her how should I even go about doing it?

Any advice/input/opinion is welcomed ... Thank you !!!

 

Thank you for your advice. Just to be clear I don't have a huge issue with sex... I mean if I really wanted to have sex I could. I just don't feel like there's any sort of effort being put into a NEXT BIG STEP and like you said... obviously as a human I'm lacking intimacy and just physical contact with her. I don't mean it to be completely sexual, just a simple hand holding a kiss on the cheek someone to cuddle up to. Simple things that most people take for granted. Although I do feel like I need to be more honest with her about how I feel... I don't want to sound like a total jerk trying to push her into something she isn't ready or willing to do.. (for example) coming out to her parents ... that was her own choice yet she didn't stick by it but on the other hand don't make promises like that to your significant other if you can't hold to them. Again, another let down.