Hi guys. I'm 13, a girl and I don't know who I am. Most of the girls in my year have had boyfriends, but not all so that's okay. I have this friend (whose real name I don't want to say so I'll call her Emily. We are best friends, and sometimes play about and hold hands for a second or two, and I like this. I like this a lot. I don't know if this is a crush, as such, but I like her as something more than a friend. But I don't have sexual desires at all. Is it possible to be both asexual and lesbian? As I would love to be with a girl and kiss a girl, but nothing more than that. I'm confused about what I am though. I can see when boys are cute/fit/hot (theo James) but I never have any crushes on anyone. Does anyone have any idea as to what I am? I appreciate this. Thanks xx:help:
It is quite possible that you're just going through puberty and your sexuality is developing. The best think you can do is to wait to see where these things can go. At such a young age it's difficult to really know, you really don't need a label if that's what you're worrying about. Let things work out for a bit, you may identify your self as a sexuality sometime soon.
Lesbian implies sexual attraction, but you can be lesbian and asexual. This would usually be referred to as asexual homoromantic, but at your stage of development, you could just not be fully mature sexually. You might develop sexual attractions in time. That's not to say that you are wrong when you say that you are asexual, and the "too young to know" argument is flawed and frustrating. But it's a thing to bear in mind.
Thanks guys. What you say kinda makes sense, so I guess I just give it a bit of time to see if I work out who I am myself? I'm glad someone knows and understands (even slightly) what's going on. This helped. Xx(*hug*)
I'm glad you're feeling better about this. It's important not to rush things when it comes to sexuality, even though it's hard. I'm sixteen and I'm not really into having a relationship either right now. Sometimes I get worried like you since most of my friends have been in relationships, but just remember it's perfectly normal to not have a boyfriend. I've found that lots of people don't even have romantic or sexual attractions towards people until they're older. What you feel is what you feel and when you're ready for a relationship, you'll know. It certainly doesn't have to be today. Best of luck to you!(*hug*)
