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I have to make an anti gay marriage argument

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by GreenDianthus, May 6, 2015.

  1. GreenDianthus

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    In my speech class at school, we are doing debates, and due to Murphy's Law of Irony, I of all people pulled out the gay marriage debate topic aaaand the against paper. I think I am going to do a satire of the most hypocritical, idiotic, and illogical arguments against gay marriage as well as help the affirmative side with their arguments. Any ideas or funny arguments I can make fun of? :icon_bigg
     
  2. SkylarRain

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    You could say that
    a) It goes against nature
    b) God doesn't support gay marriage
    c)Gay people are entitled to get married(everyone can get married to someone of the opposite sex.)
    d)People who openly identify as LGBTQ are too in your face about it

    Just a few ideas. Things that I have heard said to other people that I know and things said to me. Hope this helps! (Good luck on the paper btw.)
     
  3. LaEsmeralda

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    Say that natural disasters are God's way of punishing us for gay sex, so we should stop having gay sex to save lives :lol:

    No really, this is an argument that is actually used.
     
  4. Kaiser

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    Everyone has the right to be unhappy, and by allowing DA HOMOZ not to marry, they are, by default, much happier than the GOD-FEARING STRAIGHTS.

    God would want us all, equally, to suffer.
     
  5. sam the man

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    Well. You could use the slippery-slope argument, "obviously if we allow gay marriage to happen then in 20-30 years we'll be able to marry siblings, pets, trees and even lampposts...". Or you could say it's not natural, and when they reply that it's documented in other species and that your argument leads you to the conclusion that, say, the internet is wrong, you can respond by saying "yeah, but... but... but this is a different type of unnaturalness, now stop making good points!".

    You could say that god doesn't allow it, which is why we have so many hurricanes. "Honestly, just read the bible guys, only ignore all those dodgy bits in the Old Testament because they're not applicable today." "Oh? So what makes that bit about gay marriage applicable to today and not those other bits in the Old Testament? And if you're choosing what bits of the bible to follow, aren't you using your own moral compass and not the bible's?" "Uhh...".

    And when they say, which they inevitably will, "gay marriage doesn't harm anyone", you can say "HA! It does, because it slightly inconveniences me by putting me into a mildly bad mood for a short time before I continue to go about my day! How could you deem such a vicious attack on my emotions morally permissible?"

    So anyway those are the most laughably objectionable arguments (you did say you wanted to do a satire right?). If you wanted to include some more, uh, serious arguments you could say gay marriage undermines social cohesion, it's not really necessary/a pressing issue for society right now, or that it's not the state's business to intervene in matters such as this. But I think satire would be more fun for all involved :thumbsup:
     
  6. redneck

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    Well if it were me I would go here Argument Transcripts and read the transcripts of "question 1" and"question 2" from 4-28-15. These are the arguments made before the supreme court on gay marriage. It will probably be a lengthy read but it would have the best arguments that those who oppose gay marriage can come up with.
     
  7. Awesome

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    The most ridiculous thing I have heard of homophobes saying is that "Homosexuals are GAY". Wow, I had no idea...

    You could also use that argument that basically says that you don't believe it is possible for a man to be gay because you are not gay.

    And there is always that argument that evidently it has been proven that homosexuals are statistically much more likely to be pedophiles and so homosexual behavior should not be condoned. If someone asks where you found the statistics, just change the subject.

    Be sure to mention that "the gays" are going to hell. XD
     
  8. DragKing692

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    Begin to discuss how it's unconstitutional, and that you respect the boundaries of church and state, but homosexual marriage defies both.

    And then say, "Wait a minute, I can't make this argument! I'm a f*cking homosexual!"
    And then leave. Boom.
     
  9. TheAnon32

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    O be sure to tell them that "homosexualty is completely a choice and they choose this because....well they want to be apart of a group that is discriminated" or some other B.S. like "gays create global warming duh it's obvious".
     
    #9 TheAnon32, May 6, 2015
    Last edited: May 6, 2015
  10. GreenDianthus

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    Those sound pretty good! I think I'll use those :slight_smile:

    I'd rather not do anything serious, plus I'm not sure I'd be able to bite my tongue long enough to actually do anything but a satire

    XD Tempting! lol

    ______________________

    There's some funny and good stuff here, definitely enough to make a 5 minute argument. thanks everyone! I think my favorite is explaining how gay marriage will lead to the marriage of a lamppost

    ---------- Post added 6th May 2015 at 07:59 PM ----------

    oooh, I forgot about the "It's 100% a choice argument," I'll be sure to throw that in there c:
     
  11. Eric

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    You want a good grade, right? Don't do a satire piece. If the kid you have to debate is prepared at all, you're going to lose the debate no matter what rabbit you pull out of a hat. Your teacher is grading you on the quality of your research, your ability to articulate your point, and your persuasiveness though, fortunately. Don't resort to a gimmick or comedy routine because I'm sure the end result would disappoint.
     
  12. GreenDianthus

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    @Eric Actually, my teacher for speech is pretty cool and encourages people to think outside the box. As long as I do the satire well and creatively, I really don't think he'll mind or penalize me
     
  13. blackhatguy

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    Sometimes I've survived classes only by doing satire and presenting it as serious material.

    There are "studies" that show same sex couples don't raise kids as well as male female couples do. Some of these also suggest that a young man, without a father to look up to, turns to the media's idea of masculinity, which often portrays men as sexualized, aggressive, abusive, alcoholic, et cetera.

    Also, AIDS.
     
  14. Awesome

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    Forgot about this guy. He explains how "sodomites" are spreading Ebola at Starbucks.
     
  15. EpicConfusion

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    Pull out ya bible for that shit lol make it extremely, extremely satirical.
     
  16. Argentwing

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    If you have to attempt to make effective arguments, say that straight marriage leads to more prolific reproduction, meaning a higher population of gay babies. Which is obviously for the best. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  17. GreenDianthus

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    Update! The debate was today, and it went pretty well I think. I spoke strongly and confidently, but the entire satire aspect of it was lost on most people. I talked to a few of my classmates and they said they thought I just had bad points. Oh well. :shrug:

    Sidenote, I decided to wear my rainbow bracelet to be ironic :grin:
     
  18. HugasaurusRex

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    Just cite the most fictitious book made. The bible. Can not get any more hypocritical than that thing.
     
  19. Im Hazel

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    Well, at least they don't think that you are a homophobe! But well done. It sounds like you didn't do too badly, considering. If you are happy, and your teacher is happy, then it's fine. Right? :slight_smile:
     
  20. bluehorizon

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