Okay so warning this is gonna be pretty long. It requires a bit of backstory. So as of right now I'm in a public high school. The years almost over and I love it here. I have accepting friends and a lot of people like me here and it's been a real confidence boost. For 7 years before that (2nd-8th grade) I was in a tiny private christian school. By tiny I mean 70 kids in the whole school which is Pre K to 12th. I was bullied and had a lot of insecurity issues. My only friend there left when I was in 7th grade so I had no one. My mom was the principle so it made me a bigger target for bullies. My parents finally decided to remove me from the school and put my in public school for 9th grade because we thought my dad was losing his job. Turns out he didn't so next year my parents are sending me to a bigger christian school (about 300 or so kids in all I think). The problem is people there are homophobic and it states in their handbook "The school has the right to discriminate based on sexual orientation. We will not accept students and teachers who are homosexual, bisexual, etc." My parents are extremely religious and homophobic so of course I can't tell them I'm bisexual. I now have to go back into the closet for 3 or so more years and I don't know what to do. I am so happy where I am and I repeatedly tell my parents that, but they don't care. All they'll say is that I have no clue what's good for me and I'm just a confused little teenager. So any advice on how to cope during the rest of my school years would be great. Thanks for listening to my little rant.
I'm so sorry to hear your condition... I guess i can relate a bit, i was almost forced into full time islamic boarding school (your equivalent to christian school) when i was about to enter 7th grade / middle school... They're professional tho, by i meant professional they require both party (me and my parent) to both willingly enroll without any pressure. My parent give consent of course but i refused so i did not get accepted. does your future school use this kind of selection/recruitment/transfer (i'm sorry i cant find suitable word) method?? From your story you're currently at 9th grade now which means around the age of 15? CMIIW... and on that age i'd like to assume that your parents do reserve a full capability of making the choice for you... any particular reason why your parent urge you to send you there? grades? curriculum? or its solely based on spiritual basis?? if its about grades and curriculum then you can make a good argument to let you keep going to public school... but if its solely based on religious aspect then i'm sorry i probably got no good advice. as a person who dealing with extremely homophobic parents myself i'd like to give you a lots and lots of hugs (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) You're at a high school now, due to the absurd rule the school have i'd like to suggest you to find a clique that have same interest as you are(study groups? sport club?) having bunch of friend will help somehow (at least makes you a little less alone and isolated). Three years going to pass by really fast if you have a good friend you may not be able to open up about your sexuality to them, but for your own safety you may want to keep it that way... you don't want to be a dead meat being bullied for the rest of your study period considering that you are about to spend like three years there. anyway thats just my opinion feel free to ignore if you find this irrelevant or offend you in any way have a good day and keep your hopes up arffff
How are you doing in the public school grade wise? If you are performing well, have you considered explaining to your parents that you have settled in, performing well, feel you will continue to perform well and are concerned that the anxiety of yet another move with hurt your academics?
Most has been said, by sartorius and Highway. What I can add... try to stay as close as possible to those that do accept you. Friends, whoever. Don't let go, it might feel like you're alone in that place where you're stigmatized for feeling a certain way, but you aren't. In all seriousness, the words of Albus Dumbledore are as relevant as ever, if you take 'here' to mean your life: "Difficult times lie ahead... But remember this. You have friends here. You're not alone." Don't let your parents or school isolate you from your friends who acknowledge you. If it seems you really have to go to that awful place, there's no solace stronger than the acceptance of close ones when going through a hard time. Hugs <3 (*hug*)
Thank you all so much for the advice. To answer some questions I've always done really well in school. I've always been really good at academics no matter where I am and I'm in advanced classes so that's not why. The only reason to force me back into christian school is for religious reasons. I have no say over where I go or not. My parents are telling me if I don't go and do well it's basically going to be hell for me. Thanks for the hugs sartorious I appreciate them. OnTheHighway I've done that and they said they know I could do well anywhere. I will definitely hold on to the amazing friends I've made this year I just know how hard it is to keep up with people when you don't see them a lot.
That's why I couldn't do better than "try". I'm really sorry. Are you close to your parents? How bad is this feeling of yours? I don't know about the States... but if you're really feeling terrible, in Sweden there would be the possibility of the government overriding the parents if I'm correct. You could talk to the relevant social services and they'd possibly allow you to stay in your school, although a family relocation might be necessary... How far are you willing to go, how important is this? If you're really bad, there might be the possibility of talking to the social services, and maybe it won't have to happen. Sorry, that's all I've got. hugs
I'm fairly close to them. I don't tell them a lot, but we do get along sort of well. I wouldn't pull the government or social services into this. I don't want to lose my family because I have one younger sibling who I'm really close to and I can't just leave her behind. Thanks for the advice I think I've got some ideas of how to cope with changing schools.
Once again the extremely religious Christians miss Jesus' #1 message to love everyone...Jesus died for your sins so you wouldn't be gay... Or something? Right?
I'm sorry about your situation. I'm gay, and I spent my Kindergarten through 12th grade education at two private Christian schools. If possible, keep in contact with a close friend or friends from the public school you attended - my best friends through high school were a couple of guys I met online. Their support and companionship kept me strong through the most difficult years of my life. I wish you the best of luck.
I see, then of course that's the best decision. Take care <3 and let us know what's happening your end hugs
