Came very close to death in a car accident today

I'm in a state of numb shock right now...I was driving down 95S in the second to right late, and near 212 this semi nipped the rear of the car, or a tire blew out, or both, and suddenly, I had lost all control, and careened across both the other two of four lanes of traffic and then onto that green part in the middle, up and over this hill and onto the other side and it seemed like I was going 10 times as fast as I was and all I could think was: I am going to die, the cars going to slide all the way into the northbound lanes, or I'm going to flip over but luckily I eventually came to a stop, and am shaken, but nothing is broken. I managed to walk away, so to speak. I should probably go to the dr and get checked out, though. The car was towed to some lot where I'll pay later, if it's fixable, not really sure, and depends what they decide, if the truck merging hit me, or nor, I don't really know. So I'm all shaky still, and the smell of burnt rubber seems to be lingering about, and mainly, I'm worried about how to pay for this (whatever this 'this' turns out to be) and rent/storage/bills...the financial implications, which are probably short term, are hitting me...I can get to work via the train/bus; in fact, I actually think that will be good for a while. But I think this is a sign I need to stop this crazy, dangerous commute.

Anyway, I'm alive. I don't know how I avoided hitting either another car, or a tree, or flipping into the other lanes, but it is strange to have come so close to death. I've never felt this before & certainly death is something morbid poets think about all the time, but to have had such a close brush with it is hard to describe. My arm hurts from clutching the steering wheel so hard, and also the bumpiness I guess, I think I'll be very sore later. I guess I should go to the clinic on campus, just to have them check things? There don't seem to be any bruises, at least yet, which is odd. I guess just mainly jostling???? I mean, I was going quite fast (65 is fast, for me), and even though I feel 'OK', maybe there is something I am not feeling that is wrong?

I am also scared for another reason: My license had expired (long story, could make another post, but for silly reasons, nothing scandalous), so I have a ticket, plus I have to appear in court... I'm a little scared, 'cause of the no license thing...gotta appear in court, and am 'charged with a crime'...this is new...I hope this doesn't mean I'll have a criminal record, and not be able to get a job? Guess I will have to worry about that later; there's also a normal ticket, that part is not so much the worrisome matter. Well, nobody died, and I'm alive, so it could be worse.

A co-worker came and gave me a ride, which was very kind, so I am at work now, sitting at my desk, just trying to calm down. (It was closest to come here, because I was almost at work, and will take a bus/train home). But my God, I've never felt this weird.

What's funny, is I hope I can still 'honor' my reservations at that fur-con we were planning on going to, which was to be our first con, end of May...I sure hope we can still go, I know it's the last thing to worry about, yet I get sad, thinking of how long we've been planning/hoping for it.

OK, think I'll go over to that campus medical center, just to be safe, my head is all messed up and spinning from this,

-H.Pup

 

Thanks, Greatwhale. Right now, I'm just so thankful to be alive. I mean, I never came that close...the other thing is that in 12 years of communing, I have seen a lot of really bad accidents, where people are less lucky, and it makes me feel sad for them. Or some find of empathy? This is hard to express.

But I wasn't drunk or texting or on a phone, just doing a basic 60 MPH going to work in a library, listening to NPR.

It also reminds that it's important to drive safely; even so, things can happen, but don't force the hand of chance.

OK, gonna head to that clinic,

*hugs*

H.Pup

 

@Im Hazel, thanks. It is weird, I've had a lot of anxiety about driving these past years, and have never really liked it...now, like you said, I think I'm going to be a bit afraid of roads for a while, but then again, it's going to take some time to save up for another car, here. (bad credit, so I gotta save up cash for a used one). And no worries for posting about your own injuries and experiences here...makes me feel less alone, and I hope you've made a good recovery.

@HappyGirlLucky & Biguy8: Yep, went and got checked out. Thought it was wise, and like you say, I have heard that if you don't, and complications do arise, it can be an issue. But they say I seem physically OK; to plan on being ahcy the next several days, and call/stop in of there's any big/sudden changes. I think right now, it's the mental part. Oddly, I usually see my therapist today, and he was nice enough to have a session on the phone, which helped.

@Micheal, Patrick and everyone here, thanks, this has been one of the weirdest days of my life, and one that also makes me think of how fragile things are.

Edit: This also reminds me that I don't want to become a stunt-man! Or even ride roller-coasters, at least for a little while.