I'll try to be short! I am a boy, and I am 20. I started having homosexual feelings early on, but I kept them a secret. After suffering a huge depression I decided telling my best friend about it, and then three more friends. But after I came out (few months ago) I've been going on a roller coaster of feelings. I realized that I was obsessed with the thought of "how can I love boys", more than the fact of "I love boys". And then my friends started asking me about anal sex and what kind of fantasies I have, and then it hit me that I never really thought about it. I suddenly got a wave of heterosexual feelings, I couldn't stop watching at girls... I was happy and confused and scared... But this feelings diminished and I interpreted them as a bottled up reactions that I wasn't aware of. But they kind of dwindled down... The homosexual feelings remained but they got smaller every passing day. Today, I have no sexual feelings whatsoever. I can describe my erections as physiological and not psychological... I see sex and I get an erection, but I get no pleasure from it, nor any fantasies in my head. I just can't get horny. Women don't do it for me. Men are just nothing anymore... Gay sex is boring, stupid, ridiculous even. It's like I can't derive any thoughts and feelings from the place I once did - the need to be loved by big powerful dominating men... I always wanted to be an asexual... But what now? I need blood stirring in my veins, I need to feel young and strong and powerful, I can't feel as a vegetating plant as I feel now... Anybody telling me that sexuality is as simple as homo or hetero things, should go kill himself/herself! I never signed up for something as complex as this...
Hiya, luv! You could be bisexual, or biseuxal but asexual at the same time, if that makes sense What do you mean by viewing girls, and such? Finding them pretty, or? But, seriously, hun, you do not need to have sexual feelings for guys just to be into them Do you get any romantic, feathery feelings with guys? If so, then, you like them romantically, maybe a lot more than sexual, which is no problem at all! Do you view any guys as attractive, or hot but not always sexually attractive? Seriously, there's no problem by that but by the looks of things, I really think you're gay from what you've said, just maybe not very sexual, and more romantic and just confused. I'm gay and I get turned on, sure but not when needed to, I could say, I suppose... Like, going swimming, loads of hawt naked guys with gorgeous bums: I'm not turned on That could be from a decreased natural sexual drive from all the porn I've watched, though (ugh, need help with the addiction so bad) but that's my point. I get turned on more from imagination, usually but... Uh. Hope this has helped, if any. Sorry about making it a little about me
Yeah, I've had that, minus the 'girls' part - loss of libido happens in almost a fifth of all men, and it is scary and confusing. Not as rare as you think. A lot of our sexual habits is tied to our personality and state of mind. Naturally, a negative state of mind can lead to loss of libido - stress/depression releases cortisol, which affects your libido negatively. Losing interest in bonding with other people can cause loss of sexual desire. Another reason could be disillusionment. You tie your fantasy (strong dominating man) to arousal. When you realise that fantasy doesn't exist, you lose the arousal aspect too. These are just potential explanations to what "might" be the case. I definitely don't know you so I don't want to say more in the hope that I might not just be projecting. You told us you're 20. There are men and women who've been married for 30+ years, after which they just turn to their spouses and say "I'm so sorry. Thank you for the 30+ years, but I'm gay and leaving you now." (in a more dramatic way, of course). What I can suggest is taking this 'complexity' as a discovery, and not as a dead end. I think these thoughts and feelings are actually a very beautiful representation of how our mind can warp from one state to another with such malleability, even though they may appear painful to us. Ever considered going back a bit and trying to understand the root cause of this 'symptom'?
This is quite insightful... But what was your point concerning the married people. You are trying to say that things are much simpler than I make them. Or that things develop over time? Thank you! But how did you overcome the libido problem. I really want to reconquer my sexuality...
