Hi, so I've got OCD and intrusive thoughts and have a difficult time telling the difference between 'real' thoughts and 'OCD' thoughts. With that being said, i have a couple of questions and things to talk about I don't feel comfortable talking about in real life to people. After, about a year of pondering my orientation, I'm pretty sure I've settled on the label 'straight.' I am 18 years old and have a lack of experience both physically and emotionally with the opposite sex. I have only had a couple of awkward kisses that I wasn't really feelings at random parties. Other than that, I've never had a boyfriend or been touched really. Going back to my OCD, I had (and am slowly proceeding to have) intrusive thoughts about being aromantic/asexual. It's like HOCD, but with a different orientation. I'm sure if you go back to my previous posts from months ago, you'll see how out of hand my OCD got. So why am I thinking this way again. Because everytime I think about kissing a guy I like, I chicken out on the inside and physically draw myself away. Is this normal and/or have anyone else experienced this? Same goes for any other sexual or sensual activity, is it normal to 'chicken out' (sorry I hate that term, but it's the only one I could think of.) I'm afraid I will never find a guy I can comfortable be in a relationship who I am attracted to both romantically and sexually. Will I grow out of these weird feelings? I have a hard time connecting to people. There is only one person in my life who I have comfortable clicked with, who is my best friend. I'm afraid I won't ever click with someone like I have with my friend who could be my boyfriend.
It is very possible that you are just not comfortable with yourself yet to take the world by the horns, but OCD is a whole different thing. Have you consulted a doctor or anyone for advice yet?
I suppose you could be right, maybe I just need some confidence. But, yes I have been officially diagnosed with OCD.
