trick or treat, am I a sweet or sour one?!

Hey there!

I'm twenty years old. And I've only fallen in love twice. I don't really have crushes, but I fall in love as I get to know people. And for a while, I had the same questions. A lot of my friends were in and out of relationships, while a couple of others had incredibly long winded relationships that were shocking when they broke up. For a while, I was in love with being in love because everyone else around me seemed so happy to be in love, and I wanted that. Very badly. But it's not the sort of thing you can rush, and when you get in a relationship because you want to be in love and not because you are in love, there's a lot of problems when it's not all happiness and roses.

When people in a long term relationship break up, it's not because of petty issues. The small, seemingly insignificant issues are the straw that breaks the camel's back, so to speak. Especially in long term relationships, it's a build up of issues that eventually leads to each small thing becoming a big thing, and then snapping. It happens. It happened with my long term relationship. The thing is, that doesn't always happen. So you can't be concerned about any relationship you enter dooming itself. It's up to the people in the relationship to make that happen, and if it does fall apart, it's for a reason.

Secondly, if someone finds you boring, then they're not the right person for you. No one is boring to everybody. And there is someone who is going to love your personality for what it is, even if you think you're not a challenge (though I'm not sure why you'd want to be that) or boring. We are our own worst critics. Don't let that stop you from letting someone love you for who you are.

Now being jaded or apathetic about love isn't necessarily a bad thing. Being in love with love can make you desperate to find it, being apathetic means that you just won't look for it. It'll find you. It doesn't mean you won't feel love when it happens. Try not to be completely careless about love, but also try not to be in love with love. Strike that balance in between where you want to meet new people, but love is not the first thing on your mind. Don't close off to love period, be open to it happening. But don't be searching hard for it, and it'll come to you.

Try not to get wrapped up in having crushes or dating people. It's good that you can feel content being on your own, but again, make sure you're open to being in love. Just not desperately looking to be in love. Be yourself, be open, and be happy.