So, I grew up super SUPER Lutheran and went to religious school my entire life. Until I went to college. And it was during this past year, my freshmen year of college, that I discovered and accepted being bisexual. But I constantly feel like I can't do both. I feel like, if I'm going to be religious at all, I need to reject the attraction if feel towards other women and give up any and all potential happiness that would come from a relationship with another woman. But, I also feel like, if I embrace my sexuality and just kinda sorta be religious, I feel like I'll go to Hell. And Hell really scares me. Like, REALLY REALLY scares me. Has anyone else experienced a similar dilemma? Has anyone found anyway to balance their religion and their non-heterosexual identity?
Well, I am a church attending Anglican who also happens to be married to my same sex partner. Does that mean I am only sorta religious? No, it doesn't. I may not be a Bible thumping, hell fire and brimstone fundamentalist, but I'm rather pleased about that and I'm sure most members of this forum are too. If you are prepared to be sensible and rational (rather than SUPER Lutheran), it's entirely possible to plot a course between matters of faith and sexuality without this overwhelming doubt and tension. The reason for the supposed incompatability boils down to a few verses taken from our current translation of scripture, that are taken entirely literally and well out of their original meaning and context. If those verses are viewed in context, you end up with a very different picture. On the subject of hell, you may wish to consider these comments from Nobel prize winner, Archbishop Desmond Tutu: Archbishop Tutu 'would not worship a homophobic God' - BBC News Desmond Tutu also said this about LGB rights: If a God loving, nobel prize winning Bishop is prepared to stand up and speak out, don't you think that says something powerful? I do.
I don't have a religion any more. When I was a christian (I stopped when I was like 7 or 8), I thought that any non-straight sexuality was wrong, and stuff. Then I realized that that's rubbish. Look at the Bible. It says right there, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.". And here: "The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." And, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." The Bible speaks of a loving forgiving God, a god who want every person to love each other. Lots of christians don't believe in Hell for this reason. I am not afraid of hell, even forgetting the fact that I am an atheist. Even Dante's vision of hell isn't too bad. There are years of suffering for the truly wicked, but the people who repent have few trials before they get to heaven. I don't believe that there is a god, but lots of people do. And many of those also just happen to love someone who is the same gender as them. And I don't see how a God could deny love like that.
Arfff to be honest with you i also don't believe in god anymore i was born and raised moslem until i lost my faith 4 years ago they (moselm hard line) use the following verse to reject the idea of homosexuality they believe that the only pair that "acceptable" is a pair of men and woman but i believe that my pair and mate someday will always be a men... i stop believing because i cant stand the idea that by my one single "deviation" despite every other good thing that i might do for the rest of my life will still put me on the lowest place in afterlife right now i believe something mighty is up there but it aint god. At least not the one they once taught me as full loving and all forgiving god
You said you grew up Lutheran (incidentally, I did too) and went through the motions of the religion, but now that you're older, have you reevaluated your religious feelings? Just in reading your post, it sounds as if you're only attachment to your religion is, "this is what I have always done." But I would say to try to explore whether your religion is just a matter of going through the motions and being raised that way or if you truly are searching for a spiritual life within Lutheranism and having your bisexuality coexist. I know it may sound as if I am trying to minimize religion here, which I am not and that is not my intent, I just know in my case I had to really separate my upbringing from my adult feelings and kind of carve out my own views, perceptions and life. Also, don't forget their are other denominations that exist.
I stayed focused on the spiritual side and not the religious side. I keep in mind that most of the hateful things that arise from religion are due to the dominance of older heterosexual men in interpreting the meaning of spiritual texts. Also, spiritual texts are the best recollection by people who were there but as we all know memory is not faultless and the interpretation might not accurately reflect the intent of the speaker. I find meaning in Buddhist sutras but I accept that the interpretation of the meaning of the sutras is subject to personal perceptions, bias, and best intentions. The value of the sutras is what they mean to me not what they mean to someone else.
I was raised Lutheran/Catholic, Lutheran school the whole bit. I consider myself agnostic today. If faith is important to you try to find a gay friendly church in your area that might fit your needs. United Church of Christ has gay friendly churches in many areas and has similarities to Lutheran.
ChristInsanity uses Hell as it's tool to frighten and coerce people into living up to it's ideals. If you make yourself understand that it is just manipulation, then it won't have power over you. The best way to balance it is accepting yourself 100% and not caring about what "religions" say.
If God is real, and is a good being, then he won't care about your sexuality. Love is a good thing. In religion, "hell" is a place where evil people/things go. There is nothing evil in loving whoever you love. You aren't hurting anyone with it.
