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I have a major crush on my professor... How do I deal with this?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by babydoodle, May 18, 2015.

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  1. babydoodle

    babydoodle
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2015
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    Location:
    Durban
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I am a 24 yr old bisexual female. So it all started since the end of February of this year. I started doing my masters in Industrial Psychology and our main professor for the semester and my research supervisor is the lady I have a crush on.

    At first, I was quite scared of her as she is known to be tough and a strict marker - also a person that reprimands you if you do not perform well. But as I got to know her, I realised she isn't as bad as people made her out to be. Sure, she is a tough person, but overall, she is quite nice.

    She is also incredibly beautiful, and something about her 'toughness' is a complete turn on for me. Ever since I realised I like her, I have been making excuses to see her - usually about legitimate work. It has been productive though because I have been getting over 75% for most of her coursework thus far.

    The only problem is she keeps relationships with students completely professional. There isn't any room to discuss personal stuff or even develop a personal relationship in any sense.

    And I think she kind of notices that I keep making excuses to see her - even if it is about work - because once she asked me beforehand why I want to see her and when I do see her, she keeps it completely brief and to the point. Prior to this, she would be more relaxed. But now I noticed that she keeps our meetings even more brief than before.

    Still, I have a major crush on her and I am not sure how to deal with it. I so badly want to develop a personal relationship with her (just as friends) but it seems like she puts up this wall where even being friends is not possible. I just want to enjoy this crush by becoming friends with her - but I am not sure how, given her professionalism in our relationship.

    What do you advise I do? Should I move on from this and not bother trying to form a personal relationship (given how professional she is with me) or do I pursue it subtly and see where it takes me? Note - I do not plan on telling her how I feel ofcourse nor do I expect anything. I just want to enjoy a potential friendship that could form.

    NB. She is 51 and I am 24... huuuge age gap for me to have a crush on her :confused:
     
    #1 babydoodle, May 18, 2015
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    Like your lecturer I am going to keep this somewhat brief.
    You're not going to have a personal relationship with a lecturer. Professionals, especially those in a field that involves broad tutorship of many individuals, don't want to mix their work life with their personal life. It would mean they would develop a relationship with you that is deeper than the relationship they have with the other individuals they are teaching. This would be unfair because they are meant to be impartial and if they are marking your work, then they might favour you over others or the opposite. The lecturer-student relationship has to be the same with all the students.
    It might even result in you or her being removed from the class because of your inappropriate conduct.
     
    #2 Connorcode, May 18, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2015
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