HELP: Major Depressive Disorder and bad family situation

I don't have a good enough relationship with anyone in my family to be able to talk to them about this, and if I tried they would get mad at me and tell me I'm being dramatic.
Even though the therapist they forced me to go to told them I had MDD when I was 10 years old, I was never put on antidepressants. Maybe it was because I was too young at the time, maybe they didn't realize how serious it was, I don't know, but it's getting worse and I'm starting to think I need them.
Middle school was a dark time for me. My dad made me transfer to a Catholic school, which was not really the best environment for me to be in while I started questioning my sexual orientation. Even before I came out I was bullied and excluded for being slightly overweight, awkward, and nerdy. That's when my depression first started getting worse and I began turning towards methods such as self harming to cope with it.
For a while I thought it was getting better, but it's not. Instead of a constant feeling of sadness, it now occurs in cycles with signs/stages leading up to a major depressive "episode" where I feel intense emotional distress and anxiety.
Last summer, during a particularly bad episode, my mom & grandmother (whom I live with) found out I was self harming and they totally freaked out. My mom just started crying and telling me over and over that she didn't want me to die and my grandmother... she called me a "psycho" and a "freak" and told me that if she ever found me cutting again she'd kick me out of the house.
I think that sort of scared me into staying clean for almost a year until today. An episode hit me last night and I don't know what to do anymore. My depression is interfering with my social life, with my grades, and pretty much ruining everything because I can't bring myself to care about anything anymore. When I actually do try to do something, I invest so much into it that if it doesn't come out perfect, I become so frustrated I start crying, which is embarrassing because it sometimes happens at school. I can hardly sleep. I'm always tired. I'm not even 16 yet and my periods have stopped and I'm already finding white hairs, which I'm assuming is because of the stress I'm dealing with.
How do I deal with this? How do I make this stop? How do I approach the topic with my family without getting yelled at again or kicked out?
I feel so hopeless.

 

I really appreciate that you took the time to listen and reply so thoroughly. It was hard to post this, and I wasn't sure anyone would actually read it.
I have been using distractions, like drawing on my arm, writing poetry, listening to music, and taking naps.
You asked how I felt about therapy. At the time I resented going because I was already feeling isolated and I didn't see it as something "normal" kids had to do. I was afraid that if my peers found out it would give them another reason to laugh at me or think there was something wrong with me. I don't really feel this way now, but I hadn't really thought of trying therapy again. I might have to reconsider.
As for the need for perfection, I think it comes from a feeling of never being good enough. I always feel like I have to prove myself to others and myself.
Again, thank you for your response. It's so nice to know I have support.