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31 year old in 6 year relationship, love burnt out?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by anyway31, May 19, 2015.

  1. anyway31

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi,


    Basically I am with my girlfriend 6 years now and since months I had this crisis which she knows about. I was student, working after finishing BA and recently I couldn't get a job, which is very upset me. Also we had this complexity of sexual attaction, because she didn't want to change for me a little, some habbits, unhealthy eating etc. She loves me to death, I know that.

    She was my best friend, lover and amazing part of my life. However I don't feel that "spark" any more to her, I still love her to some point but more as a friend. I tried to tell her about my feelings over the past few months but she didn't listen, she thinks city break or go somewhere will fix things between us. I'm actually litte worry about leaving her, as she mention few times that without me her life will not have purpose anymore and will kill herself...

    Recently, some 2 weeks ago I started work in one place, and there is a girl (straight obiously) that I felt little chemistry between us (or maybe just me) , but than I realize how i miss this kind of feelings to someone.

    I just feel that my romatinc feelings is reach the end to my girlfriend, how I suppose to tell her that ?

    BTW. She's nearly 34 and not come out, she's only told one friend. I kind a tired of hiding and just lying at work (I only said I got a partner, and this girl I mention she's kind a intrigued that I don't want talking about myself, I'm pretty sure they think I am wirdo at work) and I'm doing this only because my gf is not comfortable with me saying anyone that I'm gay or that we are together.

    I never was screaming that "hey I'm gay" but if I am within people I like or feel comfortable to tell that I would. And since I started this work, I realize how little social life is needed and have fun sometime , as since I am with her we had this hermetic one-on-one world.

    I can add I never nor she cheated or planing to do. I hope this is not too chaotic.
     
  2. smurf

    Regular Member

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    It happens. For some people happens after 50 years together and for other its happens after 1 year together. Not everyone was meant to be together forever and that is fine.

    How to tell her? Very awkwardly and with a painful but honest conversation.

    My only worry is that it seems like she is manipulating you into staying with her. If she says something along the lines of hurting herself if you leave, then thats emotional abuse. Finding a support group to help you cope with the guilt might be a helpful step while you go through this whole ordeal.

    At the end, you have to do what makes you happy and this clearly isn't working for you anymore. You are responsible for you own happiness first and foremost. Her hurting herself or being depressed if you break up is her own responsibility and something that she has to learn to cope without your help.
     
  3. anyway31

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Gay