A call to all bisexuals!!

I didn't start suspecting anything until my early twenties. I'd had very limited exposure to LGBT things though before, and grew up under the impression of everyone around me (including myself) was by default straight :rolle: Very similar too - grew up in a rural town. My mum actually thought I was a lesbian in high school (because I never wore dresses or dated guys) and treated this like it was a bad thing, so I freaked out and even though I had had crushes on guys, I also knew that I had strong feelings towards my female best friend which I tried to dismiss. I wouldn't say that I always knew at all, or thought that I was different. I just assumed I liked guys like (to my knowledge) all the other girls around me did. I've been in a solid, loving relationship with a guy before, but the more exposed I was to the LGBT community like on uni campus etc. after we broke up and I started to become attracted to other people more, I started to accept that I wasn't straight, and that not everyone is, and there's so much pressure from society to conform to being heterosexual that it can make you kind of blinded to your own orientation and block it out.

Lol, I didn't see your question title as creepy :lol: It's pretty normal, I think too, not to begin questioning until you even begin to realise that your feelings for the same sex (or any other) could be valid. A lot of people get confused, I definitely was! But I really do think a lot of that confusion is from trying to look through the expectations of who you should be attracted to, instead of who you really are attracted to. I still find guys attractive, it's just more rare, but that's the way it's always truly been for me. I'm usually attracted to girls and get butterflies and all those other cheesy things around them a lot more, but I don't supress it or think it's wrong to have those feelings now. Because of learning more about others in the LGBT community, online and in real life, that helped that acceptance, so no, it's not strange. If you're worried that your mind is making you think you're bi or another sexuality other than straight if you really are straight, well maybe you are open minded and accepting of other people, or maybe you see some of these things in yourself. Attraction is much more than being "turned on", it's also thinking about being in a relationship with someone, so maybe that is something to consider. Even if you do turn out straight in the end, it's good to go against the default of assuming that you are and understanding that side of yourself more (*hug*)

 

First off, you're NOT A FRAUD! Your sexuality is valid and no matter where your preferences lie, bisexual is bisexual and nobody can - and shouldn't - call you a fraud. Have you heard of the Kinsey Scale? I'm a 2, sometimes 3.

I've noticed that I feel more than just friendship for my female friends when I was about 10/11. I got jealous when they talked to other people, male or female, and I just wanted to be near them. I even had a small crush on one of them. I didn't understand it then. But I learned about homosexuality soon after because one of the girls I practiced shot-put with has two moms, and the shot-put teacher was very butch.

It wasn't until I was about 16 that I really started to explore my feelings, and I ended up kissing my best friend's lesbian sister. Shortly following that, I got my first girlfriend, and things just made more sense from there on in.

And there's nothing wrong with only figuring it out at a later stage in your life. Are you normal? YES! Perfectly normal (*hug*)

 

Hi there! I just wanted to say that I was the EXACT same way up until last week(I came out to my sister last week). I was always intrigued by learning about all these cool new things. I used to joke around with my mom, telling her that we knew I was straight because I liked guys. But I started doing research and the more I got into reading several different articles and forums. I became closer with my best friend through all of this, and I just started noticing the way she did her hair. The way that her voice would get higher when she was talking in a hushed tone. I became so close to her at one point that I threatened her boyfriend that if he ever did anything to hurt her that he would get the living sh*t beat out of him. About a year later, I was in 8th grade, they were still together and he just was so disrespectful towards her. One day I just told her that I love her too much to watch him put her through Hell. And she told me "You're just jealous that I actually have someone to love me." My heart was just shattered by this, and so now I am homeschooled, because I couldn't stand loving someone who didn't love me back.

Haha, I'm not really sure what that story was suppose to accomplish, but there it is.

 

Lol, mother's intuition, eh? :rolle: (well, for mine it was more like stereotying because not even I had any idea back then :eusa_doh I hope that your mother reacted in an understanding way?

Oh, that's okay.. I just meant it was something to consider, because there's more than one sort of attraction and it takes a while sometimes to sort through them and figure it all out. Wasn't trying to imply you misrepresented yourself in that way, sorry :icon_sad:

 

I know exactly how you feel, and can REALLY relate to what you're feeling. It took me years to understand and except what I was feeling. I felt like I kept bouncing back a forth because I liked that girl, but I didn't like that girl, and the same for guys. I felt like I was faking being straight, until i tried to think of myself as gay, then I'd feel like I was faking that too. I didn't even passively question my sexuality until I was about 17, and even then I didn't actively start thinking about it until a couple of years ago. I wasn't really interested in anyone at that age, so that probably had some hand in it.

I've come to appreciate that you love who you love, and labeling it the way you want doesn't change that. You can be basically straight and identify as straight, but still fall for someone same sex. Same for gay.

I made it easier for myself by thinking of the way I felt as open to anything. Not straight, not bi, not gay. Just what will be will be. Can't change who I am, or who I like. Then I finally decided to think of myself as bi. I knew gender wasn't important. Also, you can be a bi woman and only date men. doesn't make you any less bisexual. All that's important is that you accept the way you feel, however you want to label or not label it. It's okay to be bisexual, just as it's okay to not be bisexual. It took a while to get used to it. It didn't sit right to start with. But i know myself better now and feel much more comfortable, which only comes with time (which sucks, I know).

If labeling makes you anxious like it did with me, don't label it. Think of it as a wheel that's still spinning, like on those game shows, cycling though different sexualities. No need for it to stop yet, you're not ready. It'll come to a stop when you're ready for it, or you'll spin it again. You control your label (or lack there of). I feel like sometimes realising you are bisexual is hard as society has a tendency to want to make you either gay or straight. But take your time to figure it out. It's normal. It may even change as you get older (hormones can be crazy things). Identify how you want now, and adjust as you discover more about yourself. No pressure.

Sorry for how badly this was all written out. I'm not the best at writing, but I hope it's at least coherent. Hope you're feeling better soon. I know how much anxiety can mess with you.

 

Are you normal, ATtappman? Well, probably not, but the question is -- what is normal, and do you even want to be normal?

In all seriousness, though -- you're really not late to the game. You're in high school, which is plenty young. I called myself straight all through high school, despite having LGBT friends and being very interested in and vocal about LGBT rights. Plenty of people come out to themselves much later in life!

If you're bisexual, the fact that you're attracted to the opposite sex may mean you don't think to question your orientation sometimes.