Hey all! I need some advice: I'm trying to find a relationship online, and i've met this girl who seems to be very nice and pretty, and she enjoys lot of things i enjoy too (games, books, etc.). We've been talking for like 2~3 days now. 1) Sometimes, she takes a long time to answer. Is that normal? Should i play the "answering game" and take long to answer too, or not? Sometimes, she answers in 2~3 minutes though, so this doesn't happen all the time. 2) I asked her out, and we agreed to met in a nearby place to eat something. However, i suggested some days and she said she was going to look at her agenda and tell me when she will be able to go. We are still talking, but it's been a day and she didn't talk about that again. Should i just keep talking to her? Could she be waiting to develop a friendship over text first, or she isn't interested? We are still talking (her answers aren't really short, but i'm the one who starts the conversation, always), but she apparently is still browsing through the app we met, so i'm not sure... Thanks!
Hi Chiroptera! First, yay for you finding someone you enjoy talking to -- that's always a good thing. I've never done online dating (but I'm sure I will at some point in my life), but maybe I can contribute something. 1) There are several possible reasons for delays. The first and most likely is that life sometimes gets in the way. If she's cooking for example, she might not hear the notification on her phone. If she's driving, she won't answer right away, and maybe she'll forget because as soon as she gets out of the car she has a million things to do. And then by the time she gets back to her phone, hours have passed. This happens to me all the time. Another possibility is that she's not that invested, or sometimes uninterested, so she takes longer to reply. And a third is what you suggest, that she's doing it deliberately because she doesn't want to seem too eager. I feel uncomfortable advising anyone to play the "game" and deliberately take longer to answer texts, just as I wouldn't tell anyone to play hard to get, but some people do do this. I would say, though, that if I'm interested in someone (as a friend or more), I like to know they like talking to me, and I'm more satisfied if they answer quickly. If I'm not interested, there is no texting rate that is going to make me interested. So in the end, it doesn't matter. 2) Well, she said yes 24 hours ago. You should still be celebrating the fact that you've got a date! This is something you're going to have to ask her, though. We can't know what's going on in her head, but if she explicitly said yes, well, try to assume it's a yes. I think you should bring it up again, maybe tomorrow. If you don't want to seem too pushy, tell her something came up for you this weekend, say Friday, so would she be free Saturday? Something like that. Or, during a text conversation if she mentions a place or something, you can try to slide in, "Maybe we can go there after our meal." Anyway, don't worry too much about texting etiquette, and enjoy the online experience.
Hey Lyana, thank you a lot! Unfortunatelly, we have gender roles in our society, and it's the first time i'm talking to a woman, and i'm feeling it is a bit different than talking to men. Our peraphs i'm just nervous about it. Anybody else? :3
