Hy guys, I am a 20 yo guy studying medicine in eastern europe. I noticed that I like guys since I started puberty but always denied this part of me and hoped that it was just a phase and it will go away. I hated myself and that part of me. Only recently I started to accept that this is who I am and that I can't change that no matter how much I want it. Now there are 2 friends of mine who now this and I would also like to tell my mother. I still don't accept my sexuality completly (I sometimes think that maybe I also like girls but this is not actually happening) and now I start to rethink my future life and my expectations. The thing is that now I find it hard to find a purpose in life and to see a bright/happy future for myself. Before, my purpose was to have kids and find someone to love and live my life with. Now that I accept my sexuality more, I find it hard to see those things happen. I fear that I won't find someone to love (because there are fewer gay people that straight ones) and to grow old with. Also it is very hard (or impossible if I don't have alot of money) to have a child of my own and in my country marriage and adoption is not possible for the moment (and it will stay like this for a long time). I want to accept my sexuality completly and to be able to live with it. I can't find a strong motivation to carry on with my life, I find it hard to see why I should bother anymore if my future has a very small chance to be happy (in my opinion).
Arfff a future doc like me =) HIGH FIVE!!! i also in med-school right now working my ass off to get my MD, and my country treat gays like shit, far worse than yours (public whiplashes, fines, prison time) You always have options in your life: for example i can see two obvious options 1. Stay in your place, and try to survive and live with preexisting condition 2. Move to a place with better acceptance assuming that your country is part of EEU then its easier to get your MD recognized by country in center or western Europe compared to non EEU country. I hear that Western and center europe have better acceptance towards LGBT. If your country are not part of the EEU (same condition as i am). My suggestion right now is finish your study with a good grade. Find a language classes to your destination country and get re-certified. Or you can switch career as a medical researcher, where you dont need to get re certified... Apparently there are a lot of job vacancy as a doctor in European country and i'm aiming to get one myself. if you want to chat, feel free to wall me =) have a nice day arfff
Welcome to EC! I agree with sartorious' number 2, which is moving to a place with better acceptance. I think moving to a place where you see people like us are accepted, able to love and be happy, you'll find the happiness within yourself and find it easier to accept who you are. Not only will you find happiness in the acceptance you see, you might find someone to love as well in a place of acceptance. I think a lot of people would love to have a doctor boyfriend. (I like doctors, too!) Everybody deserves to be happy, and happiness you shall receive. I urge you to stay in this site to help you with things you still question or find hard to accept, and also express yourself in our forums. Best of luck and I hope to see you around!
I feel like I wrote your story myself. But I live in America. Hopefully we can both overcome our issues and be happy one day. Stay strong, friend. (*hug*)
Thank you for your support! My country is in the EU and I could practice medicine in the EU. The thing is that I kinda want to stay here. Despite some drawbacks in my country I am a patriot and I would like to help my country develop and aid people here.
Arfff again there is always an option. You can move temporarily, get a degree or do residency on the country where the people are more accepting toward LGBT. Since you already in EU area means that you dont have to get re certified so finding residency wont be that hard compared to me. And since you are studying for extended period you might also find someone for yourself to love who loves you back. And when you decided to go back to your country you have more knowledge and skills to utilize therefore it increase your sell point in the eyes of the employer. its IMHO a win - win solution you need to keep it open minded because you'll never know where life might actually take you. that's just my opinion tho you should decide what you really want, you can be happy and still devoted to your country. It might be hard but it definitely possible have a good day arfff PS : i really respect the way you devoted to your country, i wish i could do the same with mine but unfortunately unlike yours mine is a dead end
I totally relate with you. i am 24. Also in school of Medicine. It's probably the reason why I joined this site. There are nights that I really think of my future. I become scared of it. Everyday, i try to go on with my life. It's my family that keeps me sane though only my sisters know that I am gay. I am scared to be alone. It's my dream to have a family of my own. Let's see how we can help each other. Hoping to be friends with you' especiallh that we are in the same field and our schedules may be tedious
