I just have lost all hope, I have no reason to live. I've being bullied for being gay and I feel like a freak. I have nobody to talk to, I don't have any stable friends, and I am the only out gay kid at my high school. And now from all the bullying I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, to day at school I was changing outfits in the boys bathroom, and when I was done, these group of boys were string outside the bathroom and bursted out laughing when they saw me come out, I walked directly through the group and one of them coughed and intentionally called me a faggot while the rest of his group laughed their butts off. This type of stuff had been happening for 7 years now and I've just been taking it, to ashamed to even try and deal with it. I have been in the principal's office numerous times before for the same issue, but there is always another group of boys who always pick on me. I'm not a person who fights back, I'm afraid of confrontation and I'm too sensitive to even dare to speak up. I'm literally on edge, I am seriously going to kill myself right now because I have a choice in this, I can either stay here and be bullied for the rest of my life, or, I could kill myself now and be happy.
Please don't kill yourself! First, I am so so sorry for what is happening to you at school. (*hug*) These people are ignorant assholes, and they infuriate me. I hate that you are in the same environment as these people. But, it doesn't have to be permanent. I'm not sure where you're from, but when you graduate, you don't need to stay there. There are so many cities that have vibrant gay populations that would appreciate you for who you are. You are a unique human being that deserves so much more. Is there any chance that there is an LGBT group near where you live now? If so, it might help to meet some people from the area who are going through the same thing as you. Or, just to give you another person to talk to. Everybody here is rooting for you. We care what happens to you.
Male Streisand, I am very sorry you had these experiences. How people are treating you is not okay, you are worthy of love and respect. When we give in to this cruel world we are giving them power to dictate our lives. Our community needs to stop allowing society to treat us this way. There are so many other queers who are experiencing similar situations as you, and many more who have survived what you have gone through. You CAN live through this, just not alone. We are here for you, there are people in your area who are there for you. Please consider joining a support group in your area or having just one person you can rely on face-to-face. You have a right to live just as anybody else. When we stand up, we don't have to stand alone. Do everything you have to do until the day you can relocate yourself to a place with a higher gay population. Your life is so important to me, when you survive all this you will be there for the next kid to go through this. There are other people out there now who wanted to take their own lives but never did because they didn't want to leave you to suffer alone. I know you're in a dark place now but let EC be the hand you hold onto.
Do not kill yourself, those ignorant people are not worth your life! I don't know what I can say to convince you not to, but I had to say something when I saw this. Please don't give up on your life. I know it might not seem like it, but it can and will get better. There are places where people won't treat you like this. If you can't relocate now, just remember that high school will end, and you will be able to move somewhere else. If you need people to talk to, you can post on this forum and you can also call the Trevor Lifeline (866-488-7386). They're a hotline that is free to talk to 24 hours a day/7 day a week. Call them. Please. You can't be happy by killing yourself, but you CAN be if you give yourself a chance to live past this situation.
I actually became full suicidal mode while at work today. Long story short I was in a serious nightmare. Talking with other people sure helped. In fact, one person I met up with recently said something so dead obvious yet I didn't realize it. He said suicide is a permanent fix for a temporary problem.
