I've known I was into girls for quite some time, but it wasn't until this year that I finally accepted my sexual orientation and came out to a few friends. Most were really supportive and don't mind talking about it with me. The thing is, I still feel really awkward about it. I know my friends are trying to be supportive but I feel like ever since I came out to them, they look at me and think about me differently. I'll also still deny it if someone outside my close friend group brings it up. But the problem is, I'd like to start dating girls, but I'm afraid of what my ex boyfriend and other guy friends will say and how they will treat me. I also get really nervous and turn into a total dork when I'm around girls I like. There's one in particular that I've been thinking abo ut messaging for weeks but I'm terrified of both rejection and the possibility she will say yes (plus she's totally out of my league). What's the best way to become more comfortable with yourself? Please help!
The only advice I've found to be helpful is "fake it 'till you make it." If you don't mind my asking, how old are you? Because until halfway through high school, I was terrible with girls. After that I came around to the realization that they are also humans, with their own kindness, insecurity, and attractions. Also the further you get into adulthood you see that fear of rejection is just not worth the effort. If she says yes, you win. If she says no, you haven't lost, because the answer for your not asking is no by default. Oh, and leagues are largely a myth. There was a guy I knew who was significantly overweight and a band geek in high school who got with a stunning blonde girl, and they love each other very much. To simplify it a little, try to put yourself in their perspective. How would you feel if somebody mustered up the courage to express their feelings for you? Flattered, most likely, as opposed to repulsed. Being a lesbian might narrow your potential dating field significantly, but people with sincere crushes are cute. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. <3
I'm 16, going into my junior year of high school. And I think you're right about the whole conception of leagues, it's really all just in my head. I may run into her at Houston Pride in a few weeks so maybe I'll be able to muster up some courage by then! Thanks so much for the advice! Bridget
