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Not sure what I'm doing...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by UncertainTea123, Jun 7, 2015.

  1. UncertainTea123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2015
    Messages:
    14
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    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hi.

    I imagine a story similar to mine is out there somewhere, likely even in the forums here. But I can't seem to find it, not exactly, not yet. Plus, even when we are surrounded by others just like us, isn't so easy to feel like our story is just ours. Perhaps that's just me. Anyway...

    I'm here hoping for...I'm not even sure. Another perspective? Advice? Someone to help me be a little less confused? I'm not sure what's going on for me, and I'd really love to work that out.

    In a nutshell - I've mildly questioned my sexuality for years. But, frankly, I preferred to imagine that I was just like all the other kids. I explained my lack-luster attraction to men as a product of extreme social anxiety. Honestly, I am still not sure if this may be the truth. Another explanation is possible, though, that I am just not really attracted to men...which is why I don't feel enthusiastic about going out with them. A recent experience at a meditation retreat has given me pause about all this. It's left me finally given some serious consideration to this explanation. It may be time for me to be honest with myself and start living my life as it is meant to be lived.

    However, this experience did not leave me with some grand revelation that yes, it's true, I am a lesbian! Rather, it's just made me seriously questioning where I stand in regards to my sexual identity. But, how do you figure out something like that? Due to anxiety, as mentioned, I have had very few experiences with men. I've also had no experiences with women. And I feel like there is a way I am interested/intrigued by women that I am not by men. But that's really all the information I've got right now. Plus, without being explicit or unnecessarily vulgar, if I imagine sex with a woman I feel like it's missing one...ahem..."vital component." So I don't know what this all means.

    I'm not sure how go to about figuring all this out. I am not a bold person, socially or sexually. I do not have a personality in which I feel free to just run around and experiment with both sexes to see what happens. But I would really like to figure this out. I've spent a good deal of my life feeling like I don't really fit anywhere...if this is because I've been suppressing some sort of alternative sexual identity I'd really like to know. It's been long enough...I'd like to start living my life now.

    Any suggestions/advice is welcome. Thanks for listening.

    K
     
  2. bibeauty28

    bibeauty28 Guest

    You know what helped me figure out and come to terms with my own sexuality? YouTube. I dove head first into the online YouTube world of the lgbt community. I watched so many videos explaining all the different turns, labels and languages associated with any and all things to do with lgbt+. I listened to all sorts of people and there testimonials, their confessions, confusion and epiphanies.. Also I watched many documentaries all about the world of lgbt+. Absolutely ANYTHING I could get my hands on.

    The more educated I became, the more comfortable I got. The more questions were answered and the less confused I became. Knowledge is truly power.

    Arm yourself with information, K. The lgbt+ community is a vast, complex and fascinating world. And, I'm still learning. If I live to be 100 I will still never know all there is to know about lgbt+! And I LOVE that!

    I feel like, because I educated myself better, and continue to do so, I have a MUCH deeper understanding of myself. And I can't tell you how amazing and valuable that feels.

    I wish you the very best, K. Good luck!