Hi there! I'm currently searching for advice to a problem I've been having, but google probably won't help so I decided to go in search of possible help. As my post's title states, there is confusion and mixed signals. Here's the backstory; When I was in high school, I became friends with this guy who identified as straight. Then things quickly changed when he told his girlfriend he was gay and went through the process of coming out and dealing with everything and coming to terms with his newly found sexuality. Now, when I first met him, I was overweight. I still am, but 70lbs is a lot and I've since then changed in many ways myself. Back then, I felt like I needed to date him because he was the only other gay guy I knew first hand. I was head over heels. But, his sights were set on a hotter, nicer looking guy who was indeed straight. I hinted and hinted, he shot me down multiple times. He said "I only like you as a friend, I won't date you. Especially after my girlfriend." I was hurt, but after trying to compete with his fantasy, I was over it. I told myself, and him at one point, "I cannot compete with a fantasy." Since then, we've become best friends. We hang out and joke around and all that stuff. I've come to enjoy he and I's long talks into the night in his car or mine. But, he'll say things and do things, like making plans to live together and never be separated or jokingly make plans to get married when we're 30. In high school, he used to jokingly try to kiss me, now he's less invasive. I thought I was doing fine with not having a crush on him, but I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years who was long distance, and I realized my ex (we'll call him Tim) and I lacked the physical aspect so much that just being around another man was tense. So, I rapidly began trying to get myself back together and (we'll call my best friend Craig) Craig was there and made it painfully hard to hide anything whether it be how I felt or just being in decent company. Craig reiterates all the time, "I like you like a brother." and it hurts because I can't think of jumping Craig or making out with him. But, recently, Craig took my arm and said "Pay back for letting people know stuff!" and gave me a hicky on my arm. He originally tried for my neck. I let him do whatever, but part of me was like "No, you know it'll just stir the pot." I've been told by multiple people that Craig is super nice and that's generally followed by "Is he your boyfriend?" I'll say "No, he's my best friend from high school." And that can prompt "Oh, he's just not ready for love! You might've tried in high school, but he'll come around! Don't give up!" Since then, I've been hopeful. I hate it. I don't know what to do about Craig or how I feel because he's my best friend, I don't want to ruin our relationship. He's also actively seeking a partner, so shouldn't that be enough to get it into my head that he's not interested in me sexually? I just need some general advice as to what you'd do in my position or perhaps just some guidance, I know I can develop a bit of tunnel vision when it comes to problems I can't resolve. Thank you! I apologize for this being such a long post!
