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idk what to think but we be sleeping in the same bed ...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by anon420, Jun 10, 2015.

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  1. anon420

    anon420
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    Ok im bi and i think my friend from early teen years maybe too and ive always had a crush on him so..... But he doesnt know i go both ways. When we were always hanging out as kids we always slept together when there was only the floor available lol but we would always get really comfortable with eachother. I been staying at his place off and on and i been sleeping with him for the most part untill the other day i was going to sleep there and i was just gonna take the couch he was like "oh your gonna sleep over there tonight" as if it was like wtf why all the sudden you sleeping over there lol. But idk how to go about this situation. He stays at his moms in the living room and has no problems letting his family seeing us sleep together when theres deff another spot to sleep in. and i think one of his sibilings made a comment to him one morning and he wouldnt tell me what he said but i think it had something to do with us sleeping in the same bed together cuz everytime im there we always sleeping together. Idk i just think its kind of weird i dont want to be the one to be like hey i like you more then a friend and we arent friends anymore :bang: Maybe i should just leave it alone and just continue doing how we do its whatever i guess. But just need some advice on how to go about it... :help:
     
    #1 anon420, Jun 10, 2015
  2. Feln

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    Wow. That seems like a hard situation.
    I may not be much experienced, but from my point of view you either are really good friends or he might be more than your friend. If you are that good friends you should just sit and talk with him, tell him that you're bi, maybe without telling him that he attracts you and then if he is attracted back he'd propably say something, give him the time to accept everything. At least that's what I would recommend you to do.
    Greetings!
     
    #2 Feln, Jun 10, 2015
  3. anon420

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    Yeah idk wtf to do. Its just weird. It would be nice to have some bennefits lol... Been friends for 10 years lol
     
    #3 anon420, Jun 10, 2015
  4. Monraffe

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    Sleeping in the same bed together can be a bonding experience that is completely non-sexual so I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about your friend's disappointment that you went to the couch that night. The important issue here is honesty. You have known each other a very long time and it is likely that he thinks he knows you well. If telling him you have feelings for him comes as a complete surprise he may feel you have betrayed his trust in you. So it may be wise to error on the side of caution here. That said, I'm a huge fan of honesty as the best policy, especially between friends, so my advice is to find a suitable way to tell him. Sooner rather than later. Good luck!
     
    #4 Monraffe, Jun 11, 2015
  5. bluesky

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    Sleeping together is pretty normal amongst guys. I wouldn't push it for anything more than that because you two been friends for so long. His reaction to you sleeping in a different spot could be the fact that he was so used to you sleeping next to him, rather than anything else. If it frustrates you a bit and you want more, maybe you shouldn't sleep next to him so much, or let him know you're bi. It's up to you though, but it sounds like what you two have is really good.
     
    #5 bluesky, Jun 12, 2015
  6. mobrien1993

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    I would just play it out and see how it goes...I wouldn't say anything about being more than friends or a relationship right now though...it seems like things are going fine as they are and I would be Afraid to mess that up
     
    #6 mobrien1993, Jun 12, 2015
  7. anon420

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    I dont want to mess up what we got . idk if i did tell him i dont want him to get weirded out. But he hasnt had a girlfriend since highschool and i think that was the only one hes had he might of had another one idk. Idk maybe i should just stay away for a while cuz its making me kind of depressed but i feel i should just tell him. This whole sitution is just really fucking me up....
     
    #7 anon420, Jun 13, 2015
  8. anon420

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    Idk i love what we got i guess just would like to cuddle lol
     
    #8 anon420, Jun 15, 2015
  9. foxspark

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    I feel like I'm in a bit of a similar situation. My bi friend(and crush)(she doesn't know yet :tears:slight_smile: and I are having a sleepover this week, and are going to sleep in her bed. I feel the awkwardness. I personally have decided not to tell her, that I like her, at least for a while. I'm worried that I would scare her away, or worry her, plus she doesn't want to be in a relationship. I hope things work out for you. I'm glad I found this thread with someone whose going through something alike.
     
    #9 foxspark, Jun 15, 2015
  10. anon420

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    Its a crazy situation. I was over there again. I just had a strong urge to cuddle though. It's nice waking up next to him. I do allot for him too.

    No one knows i go both ways. We know allot of the same people and it drives me crazy cuz idk if i can tell him. I want to tell him and see where we would be at after that but then if i do and he gets weirded out i don't want him going and saying stuff to other people. Idk what to do. Ill prob be over there again sometime soon. But we been through alot since i known him in middle school like 6 th grade getting wasted and doing crazy shit. im 23 he's 25 and hasn't had a girl for a long time since high school because she fucked him all up so i wonder if he doesn't trust them. But he talks about girls all the time. He's very good looking so If he wanted it he could get it but he just doesnt bother. I talk about girl all the time too but im usually the one that brings it up before he does. But idk im just rambeling
     
    #10 anon420, Jun 15, 2015
  11. Monraffe

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    You probably seem straight to him since you are into girls and talk about them all the time. What do you want from him? Let's say for the sake of argument he has a huge crush on you and you somehow found out about it. What would you do? Would you tell him you think he's cute and you are willing to start having sex? Would you tell him you loved him too? Do you love him? I don't think you ever actually said.
     
    #11 Monraffe, Jun 18, 2015
  12. anon420

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    I really love this kid like i hate not waking up next to him. I did tell him i love him but it maybe on a diff scale to him. Hes been beating himself up about shit going on in his life and i talk to him and try to help him through ut before he ends up in a situation like i went through. I feel like he thinks no one loves him but i tell him i do but i think he thinks its just on a bro to bro level but its more then that to me. I would prob do a little something with him but i would honestly just like to cuddle together, just hold eachother, i just want to help him get through a tuff time hes going through in his life. I want to open up more to him but hes got to open up more to me. Like i asked him why hes doing the things he is doing and what he is missing out in life but he wont tell me. He just stays silent. So idk what to do. I known him for almost over a decade but i been feeling really strong feelings about him lately
     
    #12 anon420, Jun 21, 2015
  13. idefygravity

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    One of my best friends and I were in this situation, only I was in more of your friend's situation. She liked me and we would always sleep together and stuff. People would comment, but I really didn't think much about it. In my opinion, it's probably going to be hard to figure out your friend's feelings, but letting yours out clearly might be the best option. Though I didn't feel the same way about my friend, she's still my best friend and the fact that she liked me didn't stop that.
     
    #13 idefygravity, Jun 21, 2015
  14. Manitoban

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    I can only say that most of my worrying about what my friends would think of me was completely irrational.Not saying people will always react positively but I've honestly I think people getting weirded out is rare in younger populations.

    For example I came out last winter. During the summer me and a good friend work together(in heavy construction very sterotypical :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) and sleep with each other in the hotel room out of necessity. Last year I was "straight" and it was fine. This year a couple weeks ago I asked "so you're okay sleeping together right?" And he said "well yeah...why wouldn't I be?" And I said "well you know I'm into guys and all now." And he said "oh I see... Didn't even think about it. Doesn't bother me."

    Only thing is we do that out of necessity and I'm not interested in him in that way. But I'm just saying in my personal experience nobody really cares.

    Good luck
     
    #14 Manitoban, Jun 22, 2015
  15. anon420

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    Idk what to do. I want to come out to him and i think hes closeted too. So i guess the only way to go about it is just do it when the time is right.
     
    #15 anon420, Jun 24, 2015
  16. confusedbubble

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    Tell him that you have something to say and because he's a good friend you thought you'd tell him first because you value his trust and friendship, Tell him you've been scared to open up how you feel to others as you feel that you may loose friends BUT have to tell him that you're bisexual and have been for a while.
    Leave it at that and let him get used to what you just said, however if he tells you he is too then bonus but don't push your feelings too soon let him have time to think and unscramble what you just said.

    After you're out to him you can decide if you want to tell him about your feelings for him good luck
     
    #16 confusedbubble, Jun 25, 2015
  17. anon420

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    Well i was sleeping with him again, this night when i was in bed with him i was awake and im pretty sure he was too because he was having trouble sleeping and i was watching a show on my phone. He was like using his foot and rubbing on my legs and thigh pretty close to my groin and was really getting me aroused. I wanted to make a move but wasnt quite sure if he was really awake or was sleeping. But then out of no where he like gets up and goes to the other room just chilling in there on the bed in the spare room. So idk if he was trying to make a pass or what lol but i would of deff done something back but i kinda fear he would be like wtf if he was really just sleeping and didnt realise what he was doing. Idk its still bothering me because i would like to have a closer relationship with him. Sometimes we get into arguments and we fight like a couple and our friends are saying stuff like are you guys secretly gay together or something lol. Its damn i would like to be secretly gay with him but not tottaly gay cuz im bi. It would be pretty cool to have fun together when girls arent around but when they are it would be cool to have him as like fuck all the chicks partner when we go to the bar or something lol or when there not around we could just get eachother off, or just cuddle with eachother and talk about serious stuff going on in our lives. We do talk about serious stuff but we dont cuddle and that would be a plus lol. I could just never see myself being in a serious relationship with a girl, i could see myself being in a relationship with him im infactuated with him. Idk if i would ever be down to fuck but to blow eachother once in a while or just cuddle and talk and give eachother masages would be cool. Lol but yeah i still cant get over this and it kinda makes me depressed because i still cant figure out how to say "hey would you want to cuddle and watch a movie". We sleep pretty close together so we mine as well be cuddling anyway lol . but yeah idk this kids deff had plenty of times to fuck a chick and he never does the last time he did was prob a few years ago lol so idk how to just go about it still and be like are you gay or bi ? Or maybe i should just ask him and let him know that im bi ? Idk
     
    #17 anon420, Aug 19, 2015
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