Hi everyone, I want to tell you my story because I need some advice. I'm 19 years old and have lived all my life as a straight guy, however, I've always felt attracted to other men (although I also like women) but never in an seriously emotional way, just physically. Earlier this year, I met one of my younger brother's friend, lets call him ''Dani''. I started to meet him and got to know him very well and found out we have a lot of things in common. Then I started to hang out with my brother and his friends (they are mostly 18) and have since become very very close to all of them, they are awesome people. My brother moved to another town to study a career that is not available where I live. So, as I was saying, we've been hanging out a lot, about every weekend since March, and this guy Dani has slowly become like one of my best friends. Nearly every time we hang out, he stays at my home. I live with my parents but practically alone because I have a small apartment for myself in the backyard where I have a all my things and a comfortable double bed where I sleep. Dani always sleeps with me in my bed when he stays at home. Sometimes when we return wasted from the disco we sleep and cuddle a bit, one day I woke up and we where really close and warm. So the thing is, I feel like I'm really in love with him! I'm obsessed with him, all the time I'm thinking about him, in what he feels for me. I fantasize with us kissing, loving each other and cuddling. I can't wait for us to go out and then return to my bed to stay close to him. The problem is that I don't think he feels something nearly close to that, although he gets touchy sometimes and talks to me kindly, I've realized that he does that with another guy (whom I also consider a very close friend) also, he is a pretty closed person when it comes to expressing feelings with me. Of course, no one knows this, I've never ever told anyone about the feelings I have for him, specially because he is a man and I'm ''straight''. I don't imagine myself ever coming out of the closet, I just wish I could love Dani like I love him in my mind but that is something this world doesn't seems to allow. I would really like some advice on this kind of feelings because I have the feel that I cannot get what I want and that makes me very sad. Should I just keep trying to live with it and learn how to ignore this feelings? Or should I just keep dreaming? The cruel part about all this is that loving a person of the same sex is just very difficult because you just can't ever imagine what the other person feels, there are very high chances that that person would really freak out if you tell him what you feel. Thanks, myself.
if this is just a crush, i think it will go away after some time.. but if you have deep feelings for him, that would be hard.. if you think he will not freak out knowing you like him and that it will not risk your friendship with him, maybe you could tell him that "something's been bothering your mind and you think you're having feelings for him".. you should ready for whatever response though..maybe you could also talk about it with your younger brother if you think he will be understanding and supportive, at least that might help you clear your mind a bit.. i don't know how thing's go in argentina when it comes to lgbtq so i don't have much idea of what's at risk if you tell him, but good luck (*hug*)
The world would allow it. The question is would you - and would he? This could go either way. Maybe if you stay as friends - and nothing more - for longer you will have your questions answered .. he will eventually disclose whether he has attractions to women, men .. or you … in good time.
