How exactly do you love yourself? I've spent a good deal of time hating myself for over 10 years so I don't know.
What works for one person doesn't work for everybody: People will realize it in their own time, and everybody works differently. I did little exercises that my counsellor taught me. I thought they were rather stupid, but it actually helped. -Write down five good things about life every day -Write down two good things about what you did every day (and there IS something always, however much minor it may be) -Look in the mirror and compliment a certain feature that you like when you feel like criticizing one. Those weren't all that helped me learn to love myself... You have to realize some things... ~You're awesome ~Nobody really cares if you embarrass yourself or anything. They may laugh for two seconds, but don't let two seconds ruin two days. ~Everyone is amazing and deserves love. If you don't feel like you have anyone else who loves you, love yourself. Because you deserve it. WHy exactly do you hate yourself? Sorry if I was cliche or whatever~
You sound a lot like me, Death. What really made me think that I need to stop feeling this way about myself was actually not feeling bad about myself, it was that me feeling bad about myself made me act in a way that hurt another person, which in turn made me realize I'd been hurting many other people in my life. I'm doing my best to change, for them. A tiny bit off-topic, but loveislove, your post reminded me of this song hehe ^.^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mnbSALbliU
Because my life sucks and I have nothing to show for it whatsoever. I've made too many mistakes and I still do no matter how hard I try to improve. My attention span is equal to that of a mouse and I can't hold onto a personality to save my life. I get wrapped up in what other people say all the time and can't hold my ground. You have to realize that no one is amazing, we are just bags of meat who are aware of each other. People will remember you for your screw ups not your triumphs. The only people who are awesome are those fortune enough to be born with talent, no one else matters. I'm not awesome, I suck, those who like be are either delusional or lying.
What I hear you saying is that when people esteem someone else it's basically an allusion. I won't argue with you because I think you are mostly right. If you strip away the thin facade we truly are bags of meat walking around on a personal path to destruction. But most people are eager to believe in something more because, well... it makes them feel better I guess. You are not willing to buy that and I think that's totally cool. In fact I admire you for it. But hating yourself? I'm sorry, I missing the connection here. You didn't ask to be born, that's true. You didn't ask the universe to be born. What's the point? Are you looking for the meaning of life? Probably not, as you say, there is no meaning to any of it. That's because life isn't and never was meant to be a meaning. It's an opportunity. The only thing you have to decide is what to do with the opportunity that is given to you. I think you have something to say. I think it's important. And I think it's why you started this thread. Keep saying it. Keep listening. You might just find you are on a path worth being on.
I don't love myself either. I would never want to be friends with me. I'm far too opinionated. I'm so controlling I make myself sick sometimes. But that doesn't mean I hate myself. I have respect for my abilities and for the compassion I have for other people. It's never black and white with anyone. I don't know you at all but you write expressively when you want to and I have a hard time believing there is nothing good about you. Keep writing about your thoughts. Keep a journal. See where it takes you.
Because there is nothing good about me, everything has gone so wrong in my life how can it possibly go right?
Ok, because you're asking this question, I think you are going in the right direction. I'm not one to say other people are amazing unless I know them well. But I do believe everyone has the potential to be, if not great, at least a decent human being who can adapt to any situation. If you are trying to find a thing to love about yourself, you won't find any. I can assure you that because I've been through self-loathing. The more you look into yourself, the more flaws you will find and you will end up hate yourself even more. Too much introspection can turn harmful. Is there anyone (family members perhaps?) that you love dearly? Or looking back in the past and see that if you had any childhood aspirations/dreams? You are depressed now so I know you probably won't find any joy to any kind of activities. I gently encourage you to reconnect with people, or better yet, seek a therapist if you can afford one. For what it's worth, I believe you have the capacity to overcome this hurdle and find your real self.
It hasn't all gone wrong, that's just how it seems. You are a problem solver and problem solvers focus on problems and they filter out things that go right. It's just a feeling. If you write it all out in a journal over time you will eventually see what I mean.
What hasn't gone right? Why hasn't it gone right? As long as you keep that attitude, things won't get better. You will become your self-fullfilling prophecy. You're here for support, we're here to give you support. We only ask for your permission to let us help you.
My life. I've failed in my classes at times. My gpa is borderline on suspension, and I'm over 10000 in debt still uncertain as to what I want to do in life. Not to mention my mind is a mess and with no friends or anyone to do anything new with. Let's not forget having aspergers to complicate my existence even further. I'm a damaged person no one would date. Eve n if by a miracle I solved my problems, the mental disorder would send people towards the hills.
That's a start. I can't tell you what to do with your life and how to work out your debts. I have no idea how the system work there. However, we can help, even just a little bit, with your mental well-being. It's not a good idea basing your self-worth on accomplishments alone. Heck, I'm practically a drop-out. What's your majoring at? Why did you choose it? Why are you unsatisfied with it? You did mention that you're not into the superficial and you're into geeky stuff. What sort of geeky stuff? Sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions but it might give a clue to who you are.
I suffer from trust issues, attachment/abandonment issues, extreme mood swings including depression, generally poor people skills and more. I think one thing that helps me is trying to keep my mind clear as well as I can. Sometimes it spills over and I lie down annd have a cry, or I just get a panic attack for that matter. I'm trying psychiatry now, hoping that I will be able to process all this garbage stuck in my head. It's good you're talking about it. I have only just begun talking about it. Maybe a therapist would be a good idea? You're obviously depressed and see things in a dark light. I can relate, on my downs I also feel like that.
Again, you express yourself very well in writing despite your problems. Maybe you can write about your experiences to help all of us understand what you are going through. That understanding could help us help others like you. Don't give up on your life. It has purpose, I know it does. I can feel it. I'll tell you how I know you are a problem solver. It's because you SEE nothing but problems. That's what problem solvers do. They see problems everywhere, and much more clearly than most people do. And they use their intellect to solve them. You can't tell me you aren't intelligent, you have already given that away.
I try to give myself not what I think I want, but what I know I need. It's a work in progress. Hard work.
First off, everyone has talent. And I truly believe EVERYONE. Each persons life, however, is predicated on establishing what that talent is and empowering yourself to leverage such talent. For some, the talent is athletics, music, art, or any other broad based social talent. For others, talent is more personal and introverted. Maybe it's an understanding of math, science, philosophy. Maybe it's emotional intelligence, compassion or empathy. For others, it might be the ability to use your hands to create, maybe it's a high level of patience or an insatiable curiosity about life and a desire to explore those curioisities. Just because social convention places more attention on certain talents over others, that does not preclude the more introverted talents from not only being equally important, but more times than not more important. Think about the engineers that created the rocket which launched man into space, or what about the scientist that worked to develop PreP, then there is the carpenter that helped to build the house you live in, or the mechanic that can fix a car engine. Think about all the problems that are solved through math - algorithms that establish traffic patterns, air traffic and train schedules. Or the nurse that cares for sick patients in the middle of the night. I can go on and on. These are all people with talent. I truly believe that your ability to love yourself is proportionately tied to each persons journey first establishing what their talent is, focusing on mastering that talent, then using that talent to better themselves and those around them. As you can appreciate, this does not happen overnight. This takes time, it requires an open mind, and a desire to follow your instincts. Importantly, you also need to let go of both social norms and any other pressures that might cause you to follow talents that you are not otherwise suited for. Taking baby steps, starting off with having small achievements, which then lead to larger and larger achievements, focusing on your specific talent, should in turn allow you to love yourself.
