My friend, who i have a crush on, reminded me that he tried to kill himself while we were talking. I found some dumb excuse to hang up and broke down crying. We get along really well and like all the same things. He's been through a lot and I want to be there for him. I can be as a friend, but I want to be more. I want to tell him how I really feel, but I can't for 2 reasons. 1. He's straight 2. He's slightly homophobic Of course I know that if I tell him, it could ruin our friendship, but there are times where we talk and I almost tell him. He's a real romantic and there are times it gets to me to the point where I feel my heart jump in my chest. I know I can't tell him, but can anyone tell me... how to hold out a little longer? Because I have to go through another year with him. Not that its a bad thing.
Perhaps give some thought to what about him makes you attracted to him. Make a list of those qualities and get clear in your mind what they are - and then go out and start looking for someone with the same/similar qualities, but who is of a compatible orientation. Todd
I feel bad for you. This is a really tough situation to be in. You are likely to feel sad as long as you are with him like this. A year is a long time to feel this way. Wow, this is really sad. Telling him might help, it will be in the open and both of you can take steps to deal with it openly in a way that might help you. That could be the best thing. If he's romantic he probability won't react negatively to someone loving him. He's more likely to understand. If he likes you I can't imagine him being cruel to you.
so, its been a REEEEEAAAAAL long time since i originally posted this. just wanted to say that i came out to everyone, including the guy, and we're still friends. it took a while and a half bottle of rum, but i got over him.
