Does this guy at school like me?

Zae- Me
Nat- Ex gf
Cho- Closest gal-pal
Dw- Guy at school I like/ closest bro


http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/84641-scared.html This was the first post I made over 2 years ago. I am 15 now and in a bad place in life. My life spiraled out control due to some unfortunate events consisting of my mother walking out and my dad raping my older brother. I was placed into state custody in 2013. Though, because I was 13 at the time, the state moved me to my uncle's((Dad's brother)) in another state, forcing apart my brother and I.

My Uncle crud, rude, maybe even homophobic((though non-religious)((though he's a bit dense, one of is own sons is bisexual without him knowing)) to the point of calling me a faggot because I didn't want to date a girl. I kinda fucked up in August of 2014 and dated this girl who I'll call Nat and forced myself to go through with having sex with her and dated her for about 3 month. She got pregnant and I got kicked out of my uncles and basically we broke up because I didn't have an attachment to the child((though it wasn't even my baby turns out so she was cheating on me)).

I'm back at my uncles 2015 after that drama-fest. Neither one of my cousins live at their fathers and I haven't seen my brother in over two years. Though, recently my uncle asked me if I was gay like my brother((everyone in our family knows my brother is gay)). He didn't say it mean, more like he was curious. I responded with something about 'fucking girls', which only happened with Nat a year ago, few times. Even more recently he didn't question me getting rainbow streaks and said I looked like a 'rockstar'(very musical family I think, love metal and rock) I've been too scared to even get in a relationship with this guy I like(haven't told him yet, shall call him Dw.)

My uncle is sending me mixed signals. I have no idea if he knows im gay or if I should come out to him. I've no idea if I should tell Dw I like him either. Onto Dw.

Dw is this 17 year old at my High school who is openly bisexual. I didn't know he was bisexual when I was crushing on him since January of this year. We share two classes together and lunch time and some mutual friends. I only started crushing on him because he always let me copy his notes all the time when I got back from being absent, helped me with maths a lot, and we had common interests in video games, art, and music. I didn't know much of his 'habits' until I told my friend Cho((pretty much my fag-hag)) that I thought Dw was attractive after finding out from my gossiping lunch table that he was bi.

I dont like to judge people until I've been in their shoes. At this point, a lot of the kids at my school knew about my ex gf and her having a baby that wasn't mine so I had a bit of a 'bad habit' though no one knows I'm gay except Cho. Dw's bad habit is. well, :icon_sad: since the beginning of the school year, he's seen dating quite a few girls and even some guys though rarely more than a few weeks, longest he was with a girl for 2 months. He tells me all the time when I question why he's being a manwhore(( i used it playfully but he's really acting like one im sorry Dw)) and he tells me he's waiting for the right person.

I do talk to him a lot, and I ask him((without trying to be obvious)) if he prefers girls or boys and he told me he likes guys more but he settles for girls cos there are hardly any bi/gay attractive guys at my school. He knows about my ex gf and I think hes under te impression im straight. He calls me cute all the time((jokingly, hes a bit flaming)) and gives me longest hugs((im not one for hugs and usually all i get is one arm hugged from dudes but this guy like clings to me)). He confuses the fuck out of me when he grabs my hand in the library or cafeteria and drags me to whatever he wants me to look at. I never see him very enthusiastic when hes around other people and gets genially pissed at me when I dont come to school((often i dont go because of personal issues)) and he seems generally worried and always asks me if Im okay. He cares about me as a friend and I think either he knows I like im or he likes me but thinks im straight but then he sends me mixed messages and fucks with my heart.

He calls me some mean shit wen I said hes going to get an STD from all the people he's with((I was telling him he should go fly solo for a while, in reality, I hated seeing him with people that wasnt me) and he got offended and told me he wasnt fucking them and if he was he was at least smart enough to use a condom/birth control, jabbing at the fact I had unprotected sex ((even if everyone knew the baby wasnt mine after all)) and told me to check for STDS. Cho asked Dw 'if Zae(me)) was gay, would you date him and dw said no i wasnt his type but Cho swore Dw broke eye contact and thought he was lying. Some times Dw will get very cruel to me when I try to sit at his table during lunch((i rarely try to sit with him because im shy around him)), he'll say 'wth are you doing Zae, get back to your own table.' he used to let me sit with him a few times when i first met him but now he never let me sit with him so i stopped approaching his table. Cho said I should try to distance myself from Dw and see his reaction so I've been getting homework help from the tutors after school at the library instead of going to Dw and I even asked my art teacher if she would move me to a different seat closer to the front, and I played it off like i didn't know why she moved my seat after from Dw. Last week was my last day of school before summer break and Tuesday Dw came up to my locker when i was cleaning it out and said 'you're acting like a moody lil' bitch' to me. I avoided his gaze and avoided him. I didnt go to class wendesday and thursday because finals where over and I haven't felt like going.

It's been over a week since I've seen Dw((he lives about 12 minutes away by car)) and he used to text me a lot and only texted me once saying 'you missed the rally on the last day at school, all the girls were in their swimsuits looking fine as hell'. That was last thursday. He hasn't came over or invited me to hang out with him since when we normally hung out at least once after school or on weekends. Now that its summer vacation he has no time to check up on me but he has time to update his twitter.

Admittly I've only sent 2 texts to him((neither he replied to). I asked him if he like ice cream(( was gonna ask him to get some with me and go to movies but he didnt reply, sent Saturday) and then i asked him if he wanted to see our dog's new litter of puppies(sent monday). Does he think I hate im or is he playing mind games with me. I dont know if he fucking likes me back. I dont even know if he likes me. My self esteem has been shot and my depression has sunk in for a few years now. I have major social anxiety and I feel like a fucking fool becaz I'm afraid to be rejected. I dont want to ask Cho to ask Dw again if he likes me. I just want to know what people on here think of the whole situation and how it sounds. I think from everything I know about Dw, hes so touchy feely with me, calls me cute and always tells me he would bang me 'if i was gay for him', and nice to me and worries about me and we spend alot of time together i feel like he likes me different from his other friends((and he never makes plans with his bf/gfs when we already have plans)) but then he goes around and tells Cho he wouldn't date me, cussing at me, and ignoring me because I was avoiding him and even after i stopped avoiding him he continued to ignore me))

I just really want a chance with him, I feel like I have a strong connection to him that he wouldnt just drop me for another guy or girl if we dated. I like him so much and i dont just want to forget about someone who has helped me so much through my hard times. I wouldnt say I love him but I care about him deeply and idk, im scared and confused.

Does he like me, does he know I like him, is he just messing with me, does he only like me as a friend, I can't fucking tell. My body aches. HELP!:bang: