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Arguing Problem

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Justinian20, Jun 21, 2015.

  1. Justinian20

    Regular Member

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    I need some help here, now I have a pretty negative feature of my personality. I argue a lot, I disagree with a lot of things and voice my opinion way too much especially around my family.

    It's gotten to the point where I basically argue the opposite of them almost all the time and I need help to stop arguing and start perhaps taking that feature out of my personality so I can be a much better person. I do admit though it's only my parents I completely disagree with all the time. Friends and all the other people I don't really have that problem with. A boyfriend would not have that problem, but I'm worried if I'm with a guy for long enough it might start happening where I constantly argue with him to the point of how I argue with my parents.

    I wish to stop this arguing problem I have, but I don't know how. I've made myself a goal to stop this problem. But I do think it may have been caused by a current grudge I hold against my parents and the fact I really hate them and find everything annoying about them that makes me argue but it is becoming a problem for me as I'm starting to argue about some very unimportant things and I feel like I need to stop.

    Does anyone have any tips for me to stop arguing with my parents all the time, even when I feel provoked by my parents which brings on my voice of frustration when they aren't properly listening and understanding a point I am trying to make.
     
  2. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    Plenty of people here are very argumentative and they don't seem to have a problem.
    But I feel your pain. I get riled up when talking with my parents and brother sometimes. I've learned to keep a smiley face and just said yes to everything. Sometimes, your opinions really don't matter (to people who hear them) but what matters is your action. You do what you believe is right.
    It is not at all simple to tell someone "not to lose their cool". If you ever find yourself in a heated argument with your boyfriend, then by all means, have one hell of a heated argument. After that retreat to your space and turn on cold-blooded murderer mode. Keep an objective perspective and see how much validity is your partner's argument? How much is yours? Is the argument worth it? What is the underlying issue here? Is there any compromise to be made or simple a case of agree to disagree? I hope you can find a guy who's willing to listen. And ofc, you too, need to listen.
    Or taking yoga and meditation. That might helps too.
     
  3. OfTheKokiri

    Regular Member

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    I argue a lot with my older brother. I try not too but his comments get me ticked off and I'm constantly opposing his statements. I suppose it's a two way street but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one overreacting (I hope I'm not).

    Gandalf gives good advice about removing yourself from the argument and anazlying the situation logically. I have been using this with some success but the most improvement is not necessarily in the number of times it happens but with how long it takes me to get over it. (Which prevents further argumentation from escelating)