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so now what?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by kyfry, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. kyfry

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    Ive struggled with anxiety and depression on and off since 2012. When the anxiety gets worse the depression kicks in. The past couple of weeks my anxiety has been very bad. Daily panic attacks, lack of sleep, not wanting to leave the house. Ive seen multiple doctors and all they want to do is medicate. I dont like taking pills on a daily basis. It just doesnt feel natural to me. I saw my doctor last week and he put me back on some meds, but I refuse to take them.The only thing Im willing to take is ativan but only when I absolutely cant handle things. Yesterday my dad wanted to go out for fathers day. I didnt want to go, but since it was his day and I wanted him to be happy I went. I popped an ativan and went. I dont like it. I hate medication and I dont want to see a therapist because I honestly have nothing to talk about. I dont know what causes my anxiety and I dont think I ever will. Ive been put into the hospital three times because of my mental health, and at this rate its looking like my fourth visit may be around the corner. Im not suicidal. Ive had suicidal thoughts but would never go through with anything. I dont want to kill or harm myself. I just want to get better. I want to be normal again.

    So now what?:tears:
     
  2. Invidia

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    If you have mental problems, there's always something to talk about.
    You seem to have had bad experiences with therapists.
    Do you have someone else you could talk to?

    What is it you're worrying about?
    I have anxiety and panic attacks, too, related to trauma caused from loss and gender dysphoria. I know it's not easy to pinpoint exactly what's hurting you.
    You want to get better. So if you look inside and ask yourself what would be better for you, that can be a good start.

    hugs
    <3
     
  3. Night Rain

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    I'm sorry you're feeling this way.(*hug*)

    I don't have any useful advice to offer, but in my experience, having someone to talk to really helps with depression. As for anxiety, it's something we have to learn to live with. Anxiety attacks are terrible, so when it happens, just wait it out. It's OK to not do what you feel uncomfortable with. I've had episodes where I absolutely didn't want to leave the house and I felt a lot of pressure doing anything. Eventually it passed.

    Yeah, that wasn't helpful at all, so here are some more hugs. (*hug*)
     
  4. kyfry

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    I dont know what i would talk about at a therapists office. No troubling past, nothing really bothers me. I dont know what triggers my anxiety. It just shows up like getting an unwanted boner in a yoga class with everybody staring at you. Ive only ever been to one therapist. I didnt mind him at all. He was a nice caring guy. I just stopped going to him because I never had much of anything to talk about. I wish I knew what triggers my anxiety. If I did I would do as much as I could to eliminate that trigger from my life. I just dont know what else to do. Ive tried just about everything.