Today was my last day of school. The last official day was last Monday, but I've had to come in the morning and afternoon this past week for final exams. To be honest, I hated this year. I lost a ton of friends. It was for the better, I realized one of my ex-friends was extremely selfish. Another was, and probably still is, a huge homophobe and Islamophobe. Others have been immature and they don't care about school or trying to do well. Most of the mutual friends who have said that they will remain neutral have decided to ditch me completely for the other person. Most of the time, it's because they have known the other person longer so I guess they have more loyalty to them but it's ironic because I was always being told that I'm the easier and nicer person to be around. I have a ton of acquaintances, I feel like. None of them really want to make an effort to get to know me and become good friends. I always had to initiate conversations and it felt I was bothering them. There's one immature girl who was like that who caused me quite a bit of anguish this year, I don't have to worry about anymore because she's moving to Florida. But there's still a lot of people like that. I'm already worried about next year, I don't want to see everyone again in September. I don't want to play the victim here. I'm really socially awkward, introverted, and shy. I'm a bit uptight for my age. I worry more about the academic part of school than the social part, and I'd rather be liked by the teachers than by the students (because adults aren't douchebags). My personality is probably a turn-off for a lot of people my age. I don't think I should have to change who I naturally am just for other people though. It's hard. It's over for now. I won't have to see these people for another 2-3 months. I have more time to focus on criminology, sociology, music/singing, art, all the crazy and random stuff I love. I can get more sleep. But today after my last test my heart was aching and I felt so alone. I tried to listen to music because that usually helps and I still feel so unhappy. I don't know why I'm so bothered by it. I have been all year long, but shouldn't this be the time of the year where I should feel relief? Can I get some input here?
I know how you feel. I had the same issue, being alone after school ends. What I've taken it to mean is that you're not seeing tons of people at school every day, and since there's that lack of social interaction, you feel lonely. A cure? Go out, volunteer at like a summer camp. Tutor some kids. Intern at a library of its your cup of tea. Make some new friends. Have fun! If you need anything, message me. Best wishes, Bernie
