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My heart was broken today - and I have an exam tomorrow

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Typhoon, Jun 25, 2015.

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  1. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    I knew him for around four years as my class-mate, I could go on and say how long I've been waiting to ask him out and how charming and sweet he is - he figured out the words I failed to formulate.

    He's gay, just like I had known and personality-wise, everything - he was the perfect man and I fell in love with him. I don't know how or why, but a year ago I just realized I loved him, just as I knew that the sun shone and that the wind is cool on your face. He told me he wasn't attracted to me and implied he didn't want to discuss this ever again, and I took it even more badly that he wasn't willing to give it a shot, to see if perhaps there was something. I don't understand why he wasn't willing to at least give it a try, go out with me for dinner or something to see if there is something.

    He's 5'1 or 5'2 and I'm around 6'5, but he didn't say whether it was the height difference or if he thought I was ugly - just that he wasn't attracted to me. I still love him as my friend and I respect his choice as much as I didn't want to hear it, but I feel so sad.
     
    #1 Typhoon, Jun 25, 2015
  2. Open Arms

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    I'm so sorry you are hurting. Rejection is tough. We just can't make someone love us or be attracted to us. :frowning2: Unrequited love is one of the most painful things in life to bear.

    Try to distract yourself by studying for that exam now.
     
    #2 Open Arms, Jun 25, 2015
  3. NSmil3Anna

    NSmil3Anna
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    Definitely concentrate on that exam, so sorry your hurting! Falling in love with someone and not getting it back is so difficult but you will make it through
     
    #3 NSmil3Anna, Jun 25, 2015
  4. bingostring

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    I can only repeat the same as above...
    put your brain in to 'exam mode' to distract yourself … and see how you feel after
    (*hug*)
     
    #4 bingostring, Jun 25, 2015
  5. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    Like shit. It wasn't just the rejection, it was the way he said it, ''I'm not interested in going out with you'' - he said it like ''come off it, why would I go out with someone like you?''
     
    #5 Typhoon, Jun 25, 2015
  6. Monraffe

    Monraffe
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    Rejection often seems really cruel. Going on a trial date with him would only give you hope. This way is better in the long run because to cuts you loose so you can move on.
     
    #6 Monraffe, Jun 25, 2015
  7. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    But we've never hung out outside class really, and I'm not in my comfort zone. Surely that is the best way to settle the ... ugh screw it. I have so much I want to say, but words utterly fail me. I love him so much, and he casually throws me aside like a rag and expects me not to broach the subject again.
     
    #7 Typhoon, Jun 26, 2015
  8. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    I really give up on life - he was the person I wanted to spend my entire life with, a person who could have also given me a new life from the abuse I went through for so long at the hands of my dysfunctional family. He didn't even consider it, or say that we should give it a try at least once. How is going out to dinner with him so bad - we rarely get a chance to talk together out of earshot of others... He's at a BBQ with his friends, and here I am sitting over here wondering whether life is even worth living anymore.

    Now that the exam is over, which by the way, went to shit - I fully comprehend just how devastated I truly am. Never been in this much pain in my life and not talking to him actually seems to be making it worse.
     
    #8 Typhoon, Jun 26, 2015
  9. Monraffe

    Monraffe
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    Going out with him is a bad idea because it gives you false hope and will only serve to make the pain linger on. You are grieving the loss of him. It's a terrible, terrible feeling but this is the worst of it. Just hold on a while longer.
     
    #9 Monraffe, Jun 27, 2015
  10. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

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    But the issue wasn't just that. The first two years I knew him, I wasn't attracted to him. It changed after a while. And my interest wasn't based on appearance, but his rejection was and he gave me no say in the matter.

    Like it is an easy thing, meeting a gay guy who is so sweet and charming who happens to be single... yet he cuts you off without hesitation without even caring for the choice of words or the inappropriate time. I totally flunked that exam. And I don't even care about that anymore, even though passing was my goal all along. Everything just seems pointless and ended up slashing myself - not sure what I hoped to achieve with that.

    Right now life seems nothing more than a cruel and bitter world. Not because he didn't want to be with me, but because he broke the news in the worst way possible. I just don't get it why he would do it that way, or I maybe i just overreacted because I was so convinced he would want to be with me. So stupid to even believe that.
     
    #10 Typhoon, Jun 27, 2015
  11. Awesome

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    A very similar thing happened to me recently. Now I am a stronger person. Any focus towards your rejection will only make you more sad. There is always something in your life to be happy about.
     
    #11 Awesome, Jun 27, 2015
  12. awesomeyodais

    awesomeyodais
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    It may not "register" now, but one thought that may help you in this difficult period is that it's not always about us. You think he rejected you (singular), where it's the idea of you two (plural) that he actually rejected. You think it's because there's something wrong with you (singular) where there's also a chance he thinks he's not good enough, tall enough, regardless of how he worded it.

    Regardless of all that, yep, it hurts, a lot. Hopefully a little less as each day goes by. Venting here helps. It's ok to get help elsewhere as well (you probably have access to counselling services through school).

    You know how you dreamed up that future that he was a part of? You can start over, start dreaming about another future where you're with this other awesome guy. You just don't know what he looks like because you probably haven't met yet.
     
    #12 awesomeyodais, Jun 27, 2015
  13. MissMonster

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    I'm so sorry you were hurt, but this isnt the end of love for you. The best way to heal a broken heart is falling in love all over again.. Pick yourself up and carry on!
     
    #13 MissMonster, Jun 27, 2015
  14. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    It's a pity that I wasn't here sooner, I would have told a different advice.

    Forget about the exam, what sort of superhuman can concentrate on studies with a broken heart?! You can always take that exam again. If you can't, then so what. Get wasted! Get angry! Scream in rage! Curse him, curse everything! The pain hurts, and you have every rights to get angry, or feel hatred even. Be honest with yourself.

    Naturally, I don't encourage you harming yourself and others. Get mad, but be sensible.
     
    #14 Gandee, Jun 29, 2015
  15. unsureofmyself

    unsureofmyself
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    Try spending more time with your friends. Go hang out with them.Whenever you're in the depths of despair, get online, social media, texting, whatever. Don't isolate yourself, because that is when stuff like depression and whatever else begins. Stay social! (&&&)
     
    #15 unsureofmyself, Jun 29, 2015
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