One problem I struggle with in day-to-day life is speaking up when I have a problem. This is ironic because I'm known by many to be extremely candid with what I say about other people, however when it comes to my personal feelings and/or when it comes to being assertive, I struggle quite a bit. It's affecting a few areas of my life. For example, at my job I don't speak up when I see the huge number of bad things that happen, and when something bothers me in personal relationships I keep under lock and key and it breeds resentment and a lack of communication. Do you have any practical advice or thoughts that I can bring into my daily life to help change this?
I understand. I feel more confident online but struggle to speak up when in large groups. Theres a bit on how to build confidence here: Building Self-Confidence - Stress Management Skills from Mind Tools
I understand you want to be more assertive, but the truth is you are right to not speak up more because if you did you would cause a lot of problems for both yourself and the ones involved in what you are complaining about. In part this is because you are way over valuing the need for perfection. It's not that you are wrong to want to do things the right way but a Ford will get you to the market just as well as a Mercedes so try and keep things in perspective. It truly is hard to soar like an eagle when flying with turkeys, I know, but remember that the best of the best among us are not the ones who can architect well on unlimited funding, lots of people can do that, but those who can architect well on a shoestring with one hand tied behind their back. Find a way to get the job done with the people you have while keeping your mouth shut and everyone will love you for it.
