First thing's first, a bit of background info about me: I'm almost 21, a student and a gay guy who's not out to anybody. I don't really know why I'm writing this, as I'm just going to come across as being one hell of a whinger and I'm not even sure if there's any advice that people can give me. I just feel like (after a few months of lurking) that is a good place where I can vent. Anyway, my problem is this: I want a boyfriend and I really have no idea how to get one. I've never even got close to getting intimate with a guy before and the longer time drags on the more I lose my nerve to do anything about it. I'm on several dating apps but unless you're into hookups they're fairly useless where I live, and I'm looking for a tangible relationship. However, I am also not out to anybody. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality or in denial, I just have a real lack of confidence to take the plunge and do it. I was planning on coming out to my sisters recently and I just put it off. I'm not afraid of their reaction as I know they'll be supportive (my parents I'm less sure of), and I have the same thing with my closest friends. Hell, even my best friend at university thinks I'm asexual because I never got with any girls last year when we were living in the same house. I'm sure I could solve my first problem (or at least get out of my comfort zone) if I came out to people, so I know that's the main step I can take. I just find my situation a bit odd when I read threads here; a lot of topics are about unrequited crushes and love (many from people younger than I am now), and I've never had that. I've never been really attracted to a guy I've met in my life, I don't think I even know any openly gay men. Everything is just...stagnant. Any comments and questions are welcome, be they critical or just offering unorthodox advice.
i would suggest befriending gay people in a social setting without the high pressure of hook-ups or apps so there are various LGBT organisations in the UK where you may find something helpful where you share interests like sports, or hiking, or social outings there are several websites offering social meet-ups like this possibly easier coming out to a group of 'strangers' than to closer family - in fact you don't have to 'come out' you just have to be there to be 'out' if you know what I mean once you break in to the social networking side of things you will find everything changes and you will soon find someone you are interested in and who is interested in you
This: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...king-relationship-simpler-than-you-think.html Dating sites and gay bars are good because you don't have to come out to anyone since they will already know. P.S. Don't worry - it doesn't sound like you're a whinger to me.
