Stories of how you guys came to discover yourselves?

The very first time I did was when I had a sexual dream about my best friend and liked it. I felt guilty, and somehow I ended up liking her but managed to suppress it for a long time, until one day, where I was forced to come to terms with it, because she told me she really liked me in a romantic sense. We were texting, and I'm glad we were because I'm real life she would've taken my panicking as a rejection.
My reactions to her telling me were happy, scared, guilty, angry, doubtful, and love. I didn't know how to react and my whole body turned hot and I was shaking like crazy. Eventually I told her yes, because I didn't want to lose our friendship. I hated gay people, so at that point I couldn't really like her truly. But the feelings developed in time.
I accepted and then started questioning my sexuality, and I'm glad I told her yes.

 

I was joking around with my friend and talking about my highly religious grandma. I was talking about how she would react if for example I brought home non-white boyfriend. Then I was like "Imagine what her reaction would be if I brought a girlfriend!" It was in joking manner. At that point I was thinking that I was straight. My friend then said that she would be fine with me having a girlfriend. I was so bewildered. Why would she say this? I was straight! Then I started thinking about it and things just started to make sense. That was what started it all.

 

It wasn't any one event, just little things I noticed over several years. My "point of no return" was when I basically knew I was (and been depressed for probably 6 months) I was at a party and stayed up drinking with a friend after everyone else had crashed out. He told me he was gay (I suspected he was) after which I paused and said "I think I might be too." He leaned in and kissed me for probably 5 seconds and in that instant everything I suspected about myself I knew was true. It felt so right. "well, what do you think are you gay?" "Yes I am. More!"

 

It wasn't really any one single thing that lead me to figuring out I was bisexual; just things over the years that eventually added up.

 

There was this guy who treated me like an utter shit. One night I had a dream where I pinned him down and made out with him.
What questioning? :lol:

 

I suddenly had the hots for a younger relative of mine ... it was when I remembered all the times in the past I felt something but didn't understand. even then I didn't admit I was anything, and I still don't. you can say that's when things went wrong

 

In 4th grade I guess was the very first time I thought about it, but I pushed it all down and kinda forced myself to forget about it until the 6th grade, when I first realized it was okay to be gay when I watched 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. (Which awakened even stronger feelings that made me question myself!) By 7th grade I had stopped fighting it and started to identify myself as a lesbian!

 

Growing up I was always into more feminine things. I like purses, dresses, flowers, long hair, etc. I questioned if I was gay, and for a little while I thought of myself as bi. When I was in eighth grade I just got this feeling that I wanted to be female, all of my feminine traits were drilled out of me, so I didn't understand it. Last year, I started to really contemplate what I was. I felt like I belonged as the "bottom" part of a relationship. I was feeling queer, these feminine urges got stronger. I liked having my hair long, and constantly being confused for a girl. I looked in the mirror and saw something was wrong. I researched and seriously thought about it. Everything that described a Transgender person fit how I truly felt inside. I had always wanted to be a girl, and now I identify as who I am. I'm out to my sister and I am working on making friends who will accept me. ^♡^. I didn't go into specifics here, but this is a brief overview. <3

P.s.: I identify as lesbian because I have no romantic interest in men, only women. Like when I get srs, I'd only fuck a guy for sexual pleasure. I'm only going to truly love and marry a woman though. Just to clarify.

 

When I was a sophomore in high school, there was a junior boy who moved to my school and I remember seeing him for the first time (from the back) and thinking 'that is one nice butt' and he and I ended up in the same group of friends. And I developed a crush on him.

That's when I had to have a heart to heart with myself. And I came to the conclusion that I was probably bi, and over time I figured out that I didn't have any interest in girls.

I never did tell him, and now (five years later) he's married to a girl and has a little boy.

 

Well. I started crossdressing back in October. Beforehand I had quite a number of fantasies of becoming a woman and being treated as one. These were often sexual and like that, I expected the crossdressing to be a fetish, nothing more.

Well, things change...

As I started expanding my wardrobe, something clicked. It was something I wanted to do more, it felt right. Putting on a bra for the very first time felt like a revelation, like I had just found some core part of me that had been missing most of my life. From there, things advanced quickly. I started wearing padless bras in public, I was wearing panties more often to the point that I wear them almost exclusively now, even as Alex. It became a part of my lifestyle, and I rationalized it as wearing whatever I want. (I still do)

I also started questioning, was I trans? Was I going insane? I roped in the one friend who knew about my crossdressing and we started researching. What I knew is that I would have days where I wanted nothing less than to be a woman, but not always. Some days I would be fine, and then I had the occasional morning where I woke up crying because there were these things where a vagina is supposed to be.

When my friend found the term bigender, it matched. Nowadays, I am trying to figure out how to let Alexis out into the world without getting a whole bunch of looks. I can't pass yet cause of my inability to do makeup, so passing is still a ways away.

 

It first started for me when I was young, or at least a lot younger then I am now (I'm 15 now) Me and a male friend "fooled around" at a sleepover and after that I noticed that I liked it and noticed that girls just weren't that great in my mind. My nephews (my brother is 32 so don't ask how I have nephews) always looked at girls and said things that I had never felt with a girl and only felt with a guy. Up until 6th/7th grade I had no Idea what this was until people started saying "thats so gay' and stuff like that. I asked what it was and they made hateful remarks and well told me it was boys liking boys. That terrified me and I immediately shut it out and tried to never think about it. But the problem is my mind likes to wonder and I could not stop thinking about boys and me being gay. It wasn't really scared of even being gay, I was scared that I would not have a normal family and have kids and stuff and what my family would think because half of them are homophobic. It took me about a year or 2 to finally accept that there was no escaping this that I had to live with it. So I learned to live with it and Im a lot happier now.

I eventually accepted myself at the end of 8th grade and have slowly started coming out to friends. Some supportive some not but the people who aren't supportive aren't my friends now.

 

For both sexuality and gender, the thoughts started coming up pretty early but I suppressed it until highschool. I came out with my sexuality freshman year I think, and pretty much always openly considered myself genderless but didn't think about it somehow. Then I took this "gender test" some time later someone posted a link to online. It came out saying I was trans and for some reason I then realized "oh my god, that's true." I was deep in denial. It all clicked then.

 

Looking back now, I can see the signs. But I refused to consciously explore it or accept it until recently. I always felt different. I always had intense (on my side) friendships with other females and would be devastated if something happened that caused tension or the end of a friendship. My best friends when I was 20-24 were all lesbians and I loved going to the lesbian bars with them because I felt no pressure the way that I did at regular bars. I kissed a few girls and really enjoyed it but blew it off as just fun. I had dreams occasionally about girls. I never was one to have male celebrity crushes but there were female celebrities that I adored...I just thought I wanted to be like them. My family is very close-minded and judgemental and would give me a hard time for hanging out with lesbians, saying "it will rub off on you". I had boyfriends but I never fully enjoyed sex with them. Then I had a 3-4 year "dry spell" of no interest in dating. It took me moving 600+ miles away 2 years ago and being depressed with a lot of time on my hands for it to all start making sense. I was in a YouTube sinkhole (lol) one night and clicked on a Hannah Hart video and it all started making sense. I binge-watched "The L Word" and then started searching for other lesbian shows and movies. Piece by piece, everything started to fall together and make sense. I'm still in the process of coming out but it's been a very enlightening journey.

 

I'm not sure myself. I know as a kid I enjoyed "feminine" things. Gardening, dolls, Sailor Moon and other girl shows, even the paper fans and umbrellas from Japan. I liked girls, but I think that was mostly because you were supposed to at the time. As I got older I saw the Hulk movie and that triggered something inside. As life went on it became more and more obvious that I was into guys. Girls barely registered a blip on the radar but a handsome man really drew my attention. Of course hearing people say Gay put me on edge, because it was usually in a derogatory manner. I wanted to find a place to fit in, but most of the GSAs I went to only had the stereotype in them, no one I could relate to. Coming out sucked to me because nothing changed at all, life didn't get better and in fact it got worse. I had a lot of anonymous sex that damaged my faith in truly loving another man. I had to rely on online methods to meet men because I was not attractive enough for the gay spots around me. I tried pride fests but those just made me feel worse about myself. I had no one to relate or talk to about my feelings for guys and the people I did talk to used gay in a bad way, and it stung. But I didn't know what to do. Now I'm stuck feeling some way for guys but believing that love is impossible with them.

 

I started having sexual thoughts about older men when I was 11 or 12, but I never had any feelings for guys so I wasn't even aware that I wasn't straight. I'm basically a late bloomer, and so when I went out with a girl in high school, I started questioning myself and realized that I wasn't straight.

I thought I was full on gay, but then I never tried to suppress my same sex attractions. I've always romanced and thought about being the nice guy to girls, and since I found girls attractive, I thought I was straight. Recently, I've realized that my attractions are very fluid. They change from day to day, almost like I'm being indecisive about myself.

After acknowledging my same sex attractions, I realized that my attractions to girls haven't gone away like many gay men describe. In addition, they knew early on and tried to suppress it which I have not. Therefore, after a full year of self discovery, I believe that I'm bisexual with a preference for guys. I've always loved someone based on their soul and who they were as a person, not because of what parts they had in their pants. It's who the person was that drove me closer to him/her, and less about their sexual parts.

 

I was hanging out with one of my friends and really enjoying myself and I just started thinking about dating her. Then later on it happened again with another friend, only more intensely. I started doing some research and watching a bunch of YouTube videos, and the deeper I dug the more I was sure. When I was watching a video on bisexual hate I suddenly found myself thinking No way! I'm bisexual, not indecisive. I just kind of knew after that, although I haven't told anyone yet.

 

I always knew I wasn't straight. I just never felt anything for guys. The idea of being with one was weird and foreign and gross. I actually had a friend start teasing me and calling me gay. (This is also how I learned about what gay people were, because I'd never heard of it before.) When she explained what gay people were (and that it was bad), I felt inexplicably bad about myself. I think, deep down, I realized that she was right, but I wasn't ready to accept it. The more I thought about it though, the more I thought, "Oh no! I think she was right about me!"

Turns out, she was spot on.