Body and self-image are two things that I've struggled with for a very, very long time, despite the fact that I'm 20. I've come to accept myself for my flaws and live with them, something that I'd never dreamed of doing even two years ago. Before I start, I've been in relationships. Some good, some bad; but I've wanted something more for awhile now. I have this yearning for something special; for someone with whom I can share my life; my existence. I live in a very rural area, despite that, there are quite a few gay/bi men around. I've given open guys my number, asked guys out, and I've never gotten a text or a call back. My dilemma is that I won't be able to leave this area, move to a bigger city or something, for a very, very long time due to financial reasons. I take care of my family, so I'm not in college, and I won't be any time soon. I just want to be loved and to love someone, in a way that supersedes the superficial. I want something more than just meaningless sex and a list of kinks and fetishes to abide by. So, can any picky gay men tell me why that is? I'm not a bad guy, by any means. I'm active, hard-working, skilled, educated, and friendly, not to mention outgoing. I'm very romantic, and I dress well. Granted, I'm fat, but that's something I deal with, and I mean, if someone were to disregard me because of that, that would only make me angrier with the situation. If personality really is the most important, why am I drowning in loneliness? Thanks in advance.
what other people think of you is none of your business. you will find someone who is attracted to you. you just have to put yourself out there. try to gain more confidence which means fake it until you make it. eventually that fake confidence will turn into real confidence. try different things with your face like wear makeup and try a different hairstyle. Personally i am not picky and lots of gays aren't. you just have to keep looking. Try dating apps and websites to meet people.
well there could be a lot of reasons why noone is interested. in fact even if you were attractive (which i am sure you are not ugly) you would still be up for rejection. there's often no rhyme or reason. however, i have read enough gay dating profile post to know that being overweight (even slightly) is a kiss of death for many gay men. you've seen the "no fats, no fem" sayings on profile sites and it sends a clear message. if you are not exactly what i am looking for, i do not want you and do not have time for you. since you are overweight, you can expect a lot of rejection just due to this. now that said, there is someone for everyone and many people like overweight guys. some guys dont even care. i have seen guys that were perceived as "hot" with guys that were overweight. just depends on the person. focus on the people that do like you and not those that do not. go to gay events and gathering where being "big" isn't a problem and may even be celebrated. get in shape: if you cant leave your city, you still should try and get in shape and eat better. being fat can be due to genetics but it is often also tied to poor choices in diet and excercise. get in shape for yourself and the extra benefit will be having more dating options. do it for you first to improve your self esteem. if you think you are ugly why do you think others would not. if you love yourself and think you are a million bucks someone else will see that in you.
Don't worry about what people think, just keep working on you becoming confident in how you look. Rejection is a huge part of life and im really sorry that people are rejecting you. I've wanted a good serious relationship for a long time but haven't had any luck. Just go with the flow. And keep on putting yourself out there eventually you'll find someone. Besides I loooove bigger guys and there are lots of other people who do to. You'll find someone who loves you for you. Just keep on trying. When you get knocked down you just gotta get back up! Good luck, I know you'll find someone awesome!
