The title says it all. i got into a huge fall out wiht my friend and my parents. I only have my "dads" and one friend who lives about 1000 miles away now. Heres what happened This past week as been HELL. My so called "friend" (aka my ex) has been mking my life a living hell. She keeps ignoring me and when we do talk she simply degrades me and tells me how much she hates me. I want to stop talking ot her but it's hard because I really have nobody else to talk to. It looks like i will be entering high school without friends in my own grade. This year is going to be hard. She's driven me to cutting again. I was clean for about 2 months until she said something that really hurt me. It was only two cuts... She said "You're just doing all of this for attention. You ARE straight and you ARE cis". I hate her but I can't ignore her! Recently I have also found out who the homophobic bigots in my family are. It hurts to here them say slurs and how being gay is bad. I keep having to keep my mouth close when they say things.... My mom wouldn't let me buy a guys short sleeve button down but let me buy chokers... like seriously what the fuck. She keeps reminding me that I'm a girl and that i should dress as such. I have NEVER worn dresses so why is she doing this?? I have only one friend and she doesn;t know abuot my gender and I plan to keep it that way. I currently want nothing more than to put a piece of bullet in my head or drive into the fucking river.
I'm really sorry to hear about the past week. Sometimes things pile up when you don't deserve them, but the best we can do is keep moving forward. To speak to one thing you mentioned, at least - if your ex is being a negative influence on you, and leading you to feel bad about yourself, then there's nothing wrong with not considering her a friend anymore and not speaking with her. You DO have a choice here - you can go back and talk with her again, and get more negative feedback about yourself, or you can not. Personally, I hope you decide not to go back and get more negative feedback. In any case, you do have one friend, and even if you're not out to her, try to see if you can spend time with her - there's nothing wrong with saying you're having a rough time, and need someone to hang out with for a bit, even if only to distract you for a little while. Breaks are good things when life gets stressful. In the meantime, if you like, feel free to PM me anytime. I'd be happy to talk as well.
I'm so sorry about your situation right now, rubix. I've been that bad several days these past weeks, I know how much it sucks. One thing I might add is: the Internet is an amazing place. I know it's not the same thing as having someone close irl. But it helps, it can help a lot actually. I am *cough* not allowed to link to any specific sites or so, but if you google something like... uhh, things, you can find some things.. sorry... Take care of yourself and remember that no matter what, you are an awesome person and you will find people who like you for it! hugs
Look your entering high school so I'm expecting there will be a lot more kids there. Who knows? Maybe you can make some friends there? They don't necessarily have to be your age. When I went to regular school as a freshman, all my friends were either sophomore or juniors.
You need your ex like pernicious anemia. Give yourself a break. And if you need people in your life, try to join some activity after school, or maybe a part time job. The job would keep you focused, and with the money you could be more independent, buy stuff you like. Well, my mother also used to bitch. She is worried and jut trying to do her job. Never take anybody's comments personally, specially clueless cis hetero parents. You live in different worlds. You need to take a break from the things that bring you down : Go to the movies, join a band, take guitar lessons, anything to keep you busy and far away from them.
Hi, im sorry for everything. It seems that friends would help. Maybe you could Skype this friend or phone her if you don't have A plane ticket? Or other social media maybe? you could maybe find other friends near you? Maybe people in a support group if that helps? I don't really know? Could you find people with the same interests as you? This probably is tacky bad advice by maybe learn an instrument ? Or learn a language or something ? You are not a bad person at all and don't let people tell you you are.You've just had bad things and bad people Happen to you. It may be hard for you to do, but could you try and throw away your sharp knives and blades to stop cutting maybe?sorry if that is so unhelpful, I'm not sure what else to do in this situation. Do you have school counselling ? Maybe this could help you ? Also maybe try to spend your summer away from these toxic people ? not totally away but maybe just the Majority of the days? Like not spend much time with your family ?
As someone who's dealt with a lot of toxic people over the years, sometimes it really is best to put some distance. If all you hear is that you're hated, and you accept that kind of talk and treatment, it has a tendency to seep in. Even some people to play tennis with or a book club is better, if impersonal.
Hey, there. I know what you're going through and I know it can be really rough. I'm really sorry that this is happening to you. From what I've seen on here, you're a really cool person. You don't deserve any of this. If your ex is treating you this terribly, you need to tell an adult. Please do not hurt yourself though, you are worth so much. You are stronger than that. It's difficult, but you will make it through this. Things will get better eventually. If you ever need anything, even just someone to talk to or be friends with, I'd love you get to know you sometime. Please stay strong <3
