In my sophomore year in high school I started to realize I had started to feel feelings I have never felt before. In the back of my mind I always had a feeling I was a lesbian. My friends know me as the girl who will probably never get married, just because I don't have any desire to ever be in a relationship (Which they think is weird because it's pretty typical to atleast have a crush on someone at my age). I'm 99% sure my teacher is a lesbian also. I just have never had a crush before, really. Until I started falling for my teacher. I tried so hard not to. We had a pretty special bond. She treated me differently than everyone else. She would let me do whatever I wanted, and I'd always skip her class on test days so I could come in early and make it up alone with her. She'd just give me the answer to some of the questions if I asked. Sometimes she'd put her hand on me, but I couldn't tell if it was innocent or not. I don't know what to do. I'm going into my senior year of high school and I'm 18 right now. I really want to tell her my feeling somehow, but I know I'd never be able to. Has anyone ever had an experience like this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :/
I too have fallen in love with older women before, some of them were my teachers. Sadly, I never had relationship with the teachers I fell for, it was not meant to be. But I believe things can happen, I know some couples who are happy now, they waited until the young one was done with high school to start a relationship. I think it is wonderful to be in love, and maybe the difficulty of this kind of relationships add a sexy spice, a thrilling attraction to it. Just be careful. Remember to focus on finishing your high school too, many things can happen in a year. And I personally don't like the fact that she was giving you answers like that, she could be interfering with your education (even if I do see the sweetness and the interesting side in it... and you know, maybe those questions are not going to be so relevant to your future, or maybe yes). Is she single? Do you trust her enough to let her know? Is she going to be your teacher this year too? What would you aim for by telling her (just to vent it out, or do you want a relationship, an adventure, etc.)? What would she be aiming for? Is she much much older than you? Consider that you don't know for sure where this would go, or if she is interested in having a serious relationship. In case she rejected you, you would have to be forced to see her the rest of the year, and it could be tough. Maybe you could wait a bit more before making a move? Also, I'm not sure of the school politics where you are (Kansas), but almost everywhere it is illegal for a teacher to have a non-professional relationship with a student of the institution where they work/study. Even if you are 18. You both could get in trouble in case you started something, or if there was more obvious flirting, etc. But surely she is aware of this. Follow your heart, but bring your brain along. While I do believe in true love in any form, and that it has no age or gender, it does have a time and a space.
