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What is Love?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by DAXIII, Jul 9, 2015.

  1. DAXIII

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    I meant to discuss a great concept that has long since troubled me. Having not been in love before I'm clueless as to what I should expect. Everyone says it's different for each person but there has to be some commonalities among them. I'm tired of hearing the same answer "when it happens you'll know". What does it feel like? How do I know when it happens of if it does?
     
  2. XenaxGabby

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    I've never been in love either but I imagine it feels like butterflies in your stomach. You want to be around that person all the time and they make you feel happy just by smiling at you. They can make you laugh even when you're crying. It breaks your heart when you're away from them and you think about them all the time. The first thought when you wake up and the last thought before you fall asleep is their face. When they are sick or hurt you want to take care of them. They make you feel like you're the most special person in the world and when you're with them, you feel like you can face anything.
     
    #2 XenaxGabby, Jul 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2015
  3. Monraffe

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    Love is more of a process than a condition. It is a component of a relationship. There are many many variations on the story of romantic love. Here is a typical example. It starts with an idea or a fantasy that gets reinforced by an attraction to someone specific. It's often a physical attraction at first, especially in men. The real person changes the fantasy until the "other" becomes the perfect person. This is the highest point of love and this is the "you know it when you feel it" time everyone is talking about. It's a very pleasant feeling and often feels like a piece of you you didn't even know was missing has been found. Most people think someone in this phase of love is still in fantasy land, thus the expression "love is blind." As you settle into love though, reality eventually comes back into the picture and the person no longer seems perfect. It can come back suddenly in the form of a "first fight" which can test the strength of the relationship. If it survives the reality check, the relationship provides many benefits to both parties and as a couple they become increasingly more effective at managing life together as two slowly become one. Eventually they can't imagine ever being apart. There is a bit of a rebound after several years of being together and each party starts to redefine themselves as both individuals and as one at the same time. This is sometimes defined as the seven year itch. This phase can also test the relationship (some people view marriage as one big test :dry:slight_smile:. This final form of love is famously depicted in yin and yang - the complementary union of opposing forces to form a system that is greater than its parts. Sometimes love leaves the relationship completely but the union is so strong and the couple feels so "plugged into" it that they continue to stay together. They may refer to their relationship at this point as nothing more than a husk or shell. Sounds like a bad note to end on but that's love for you.
     
    #3 Monraffe, Jul 9, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2015
  4. Justinian20

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    What is love, baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me no more. (hehe)

    Love I think starts physically, you may conjure up a fantasy partner, it will feel like that fantasy person you created was real when you feel love. It can take a while for this to happen though as I am in the first stage in which I am creating this perfect man. This man is whom I think about a lot, I shudder and shiver with pleasure fantasising sexually about him. I feel love can be a plethora of emotion too. You feel giddy, sad you can't be with that person. Sometimes though your mind will create this person without you knowing and so when you meet that person you are surprised.
     
  5. DAXIII

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    So it's vague. That's what I'm getting from all this.
     
  6. CodeForLife

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    Hi DeathArcanaXIII,

    Let me start by saying I'm by no means an expert and have never been in a loving (partner) relationship, but I will say that I love my family members.

    In terms of a loving (partner) relationship, I think there are at least two things at play here: physical and emotional.

    My opinion is that physically, love is comprised of the hormones released by each respective participant and the symmetry preference of the physical features of each participant. These are probably always subconscious, but I really think these can play a big role in let's call it "first attraction".

    Emotionally, love is comprised of personality matches, overlapping belief sets, and shared experiences. Certain personalities are (i.e. type A/B ideology) probably more inclined to work together. Overlapping belief sets create a common, accepting ground to build from. And shared experiences build up on that foundation and create memories that can be cherished for years.

    If you can find the perfect match, jackpot!, you get all of this. I'm inclined to say though that even when people settle, they still get varying degrees of each of these attraction types. Physical typically gets you in the door and emotionally seals the deal and makes it mean something.
     
  7. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Guest

    [​IMG]
    This is just what I thought of when I read this thread.



    Oh & this
    “One of my philosophy professors lectured wildly about love once, yelling: “When you’re in love with someone, that person is the lighthouse of your universe.” (I scrawled it inside Science and Poetry in pencil—lighthouse of your universe—as if I would ever forget that phrase.) He was a delightful caricature of his position. I could swear he literally tore his hair out while howling at us. He went on, “Nothing means as much without that person.” One of the men in the class repeated, incredulous, half-laughing, “So you’re saying you can’t enjoy, like, a vacation, without someone if you’re really in love with them?” “Of course not.” the professor replied. “Not completely. You recognize beauty, but beauty means less if they don’t witness it with you. Beauty is less. You see something sublime and your first thought is that they should be there with you. It’s not as good without them. They illuminate. They make everything more.”

    ---------- Post added 10th Jul 2015 at 01:12 AM ----------

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    :lol: