Should I tell my more than friend everything?

Hello fellow LGBT community. Thank you for the taking the time to read my story.
My plan is to give as much detail as possible so you don't have to ask questions and I know all of you understand the courage it takes to do this.

This is a very explicit thread. please read with caution.

My best friend and I have been in a "more than friends" relationship for some time now. Probably about a year.

We are both male, I'm a bisexual but I am not out about it. From the beginning of our relationship (up until recently) I was an alcoholic. So I'd literally go over to my friends house, drink until it was time for bed, be too drunk to drive home, and stay the night as his house.

The long part I'm going to sum up next is because I was drunk most nights I was not afraid to be a bit handsy. Although i copped a couple feels I noticed he did too. I'm not an idiot and knew that something was going on here. Later down the road we built a relationship where we just jerk each other off, instead of masturbating, we both openly enjoy it, it was weird at first but we are both really comfortable with it now.

But recently something happened. I've been trying to tell him I'm bi for the longest time. But been so afraid that it would ruin the relationship we have, although now I know it wont. Literally multiple times I've told him I'm going to tell him my "biggest" secret but then I come up with something else or an excuse that gets me out of saying it.

He has recently gone out of town for a while and in the short story, I was unable to get a link from my email to work I went to go try one of his devices and lone behold, as soon as I open up google chrome its at a page of explicit male pictures. I'm not surprised. More just in shock, because I don't know how to deal with this situation. He is actually a christian guy who does not believe that same sex is right at all. I understand that people who are gay are either one extreme or the other. Either completely for same sex marriage or completely against it.

My question is now I feel comfortable because of this event that I know how to word things in such a way (and I now realize) that telling him I'm Bi wont affect our relationship at all. But I can't decide whether I should bring up that I know he has looked at gay photos or wait for him to come out for it towards me, if he ever does.

The way I see it is that there is only one right way to say it to him. If I say it wrong, in any way, he will be offended and defensive, if I say it right in a really accepting way it will affect him a lot less.

On a side note we are really good friends. I can know what he is saying before he says it...literally every time. I know how he is feeling even when he isn't, even though I know I'm Bi I don't try to press our relationship in respect to him. But now I know that he may be at the very least curious. I'm not making any assumptions I know its perfectly normal for a straight man to look at gay porn just out of curiosity, and I wont judge him nor more than you guys judge me, and I wont assume anymore than you guys assume about me. I just want to know what you think is the right thing to do.

P.S: We have a very open friendship, and so my other idea was to bring up that I stumbled upon something that I know if I tell him will very much so effect him, and handle it from there if he says he does want to hear it, or leave it be if he says he does not want to hear it.

Thank you,
Superglass

 

Thank you everyone who has read my thread. I wanted to let anyone know who has read this that I did in fact come out to him when he returned back home. And it was the most weightlifting, best feeling in the world.

Despite his beliefs he welcomes me with open arms.

Void Puppy, I did take your advice not to tell him and you couldn't of been more right. I doubt he will ever admit to anything even if it's little more than a curiosity. Which sadly I'll have to deal with personally. But after reading your post, telling him would of done nothing but caused him to backfire or to make up a story as to why it was there.

I'm proud of who I am and have always been accepting of everyone. I'm glad that some one, even like my best friend, some one who is personally against what I am, is willing to accept me as well.

Perhaps one day he will tell me the truth behind what I found. But if he doesn't luckily our friendship is secure. And it will go to the grave with me. Because our friendship means more to me than physical gain.