This year in High school i went through some homophobic comments BUT NOTHING compared to the first 3 years, I went through pure torment psychologically by a nasty girl and her friends, who was joking at me and spread (and probably continues to spread) rumors about me because i am gay, i told the headmasters of the high school, and the girl continued, i could never tell the police because they wouldnt take it seriously, she is a disgusting individual. So she left high school last year alongside many other individuals and i stayed a year behind, this year i got my highest grades, but a few days before today i was thinking of the bullying remembering it and just wishing i really dont wanna see these people again, i deserve a chance to be happy.. Sadly because of my families financial situation i cant move from the shitty small city i am in, its not bad, its the nasty bully and her followers that make it a bad place for me, and her constant name calling, her laughter which is not just for fun is nasty... Now i havent seen her for a year, but guess what, today while i was walking down a road she was in a car with her grandma and she stared at me laughing inside the car... im 20, this is a 19 year old disgusting girl. Who at 19 acts like this ? its a threatning laugh, seriously after all the hassle i have had to deal with in my life, parents divorcing, financial problems and bullying for 4 years, you would think anyone who bullied me now would at least have the decency to leave me alone but sadly nope, and in september when i enter university i will have to put up with her and her disgusting facial laughter, vile comments and god knows what else, because i told on her in high school she is probably gonna be extra evil.... what is your advice, i am not out and the situation led me to depression a year ago, please help me, do you think best is to just ignore? what is your view
Hi Jogos I don't really have an answer, but have a search for TED BULLYING and see what comes up. There are some excellent Ted talks.
There's a simple rule with all bullies.. If you react.. They come back for more. They thrive on getting a reaction out of you So try to brush off the experience like you don't care. Even if it is cutting you up inside. I know from experience how vile these people can be and how upsetting it can be .. But they are just amoeba to be trodden on as far as I am concerned
Hi again all, i thought personally writing a message to send to her mother on facebook explaining all of the nasty things her daughter did to me in the past and how it psychologically has hurt me, im not sure if it will make things worse but should i try?
You are not defenseless, even though you might feel like it. Harassment is a crime and you both are adults so there are real consequences now. If you attend this college and she starts her shit up, contact the Dean or some other authority. You can get a restraining order as well if she persists, and if she does anything online, you might be able to sue her for libel. If nothing else, you can probably get a lawyer to write you up a Cease and Desist order pro bono (for free) to scare her. Bingo is right, bullies exist because their victims react and feel powerless. If you fail to live up to that fact, it's usually not worth their time to pursue it. If she continues on, then try one of my suggestions at the time. Find a local LGBT support group so you don't fee isolated. You are not alone, even when you feel like you are.
Jogos I had a thought overnight. It might be worth keeping a diary of events. This may be useful in future. I also agree with Bingostrings' comments. I have a mantra. You can only keep on doing the right thing. You are in the right, she is obviously insecure.
Hi, Ok then i wont. I really need to try and find an inner strength for this, because once i enter university im going to see her and many others who made my life hell, today i had an awful day, i went to see my father who lives in another city but it left me emotionally like a reck, im so happy i returned because he is just...no words to describe he is awful, so i cannot stay with him, living in that other city away from the bullies for university would be perfect but i cannot study\live there because of him, id have to live with him as financially i cannot afford anything without parents help yet sadly. Does anyone have any advice? i am so greatful and appreciative of every single post response from all of you guys, this forum has been the only place i can come too, yes in university ill know some friends of mine too but so many more than were nasty, compared to the number of friends i had, what advice do u all have to get through this and not go mad or suicidal. Listen to music with headphones?? so i dont hear them? i just feel like i didnt get to socialize properly in high school because 90% of the people i met, this vile girl would as a joke be like "ohhh he is gay" make up stuff using that as an arguement and making them all laugh at me, so basically turning people against me, would leave me without socializing with so many, because im not going to try and talk to someone who has just been told something about me that is true, twisted with other things that are mostly fictional, or if i do socialize her and others that dislike me wont stop making comments for sure on whoever i am friends with, whoever i meet, its really hard to make male friends because of this also.... how to truly be able to be a stronger version of myself in university around these disgusting people, again they wont be in my classes, but the atmosphere of university they will be thank u all in advance for ur responses
Don't forget she's not the queen of shit in this new setting and people are older and generally much more mature than a high school setting.
I just feel like she can turn people easily to point at me and laugh at me with the whole "ahh look who it is" make up insane things about me, there are so many people in my city who hate me, and have no problems showing it, having to be around them in the halls will make me feel physically sick, pros: they arent in my actual class, cons: i can still see them around the university... im so scared about my health, all i have been thinking about lately is this, and i know fear is the worst thing we can have but, i really hate it! i cannot live with my father because he is nasty, to put up with him all the time would make me go nuts, either way i feel as if for me its always LOSE - LOSE .... The best support i ever got was the advice i followed here on this forum. I feel powerless where i am, there is too much suffering, and sheepish behavior of, lets all spread and spread so more about one individual... no idea how these vile creatures sleep at night, because some people joke sure, usually boys but girls i have encountered know they do wrong and keep on doing it more and more even when back in high school i reported them... they make a joke out of it....
Have you ever asked her why? Maybe she's dealing with something personal or home wise? Talking with her might get you 2 on common ground.
The first thing she would do is laugh straight at my face and\or throw something nasty at me verbally, then laugh about it and spread what happened around everyone she knows ... apparently her family think she is an angel
