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Wanting to relocate

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by dano218, Jul 14, 2015.

  1. dano218

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    I have am thinking of options of how to relocate to a bigger city and needed some opinions. I have to move back to my small hometown for personal reasons and living with my parents. I see a judge for disability in early September and looking at my options for what I could do id that does not work out. I have the city in mind and it is my best option for now. I hope to be approved for disability but definitely have to look at every option out there

    I have talked to job services for the disabled and they said they cannot help me relocated to a big city unless I get a apartment there first. They don't want their company to look bad if i cannot find a apartment while starting a job. While i understand their reasons I am keeping strict with my goal and sticking to it no matter what. I don't want to have the depression or anxiety i had before and this small town gave a lot of that. I revealed to her i was a gay disabled male to help the job counselor understand my personal situation and she just affirmed the policies of the company without much help but like saying i could get a job at Walmart and transfer later. The company protects those who are lgbt so I would hope she would still respond well to my needs.

    I could get a job without disability services but it is very hard but not impossible. I will probably try that thought if necessary. I was also thinking of creating a gofundme account or even posting a message on Facebook explaining the situation I am in and asking for room and board in exchange for helping them keeping the home together or depending on their situation a apartment or condo where someone lives. I would even pay them back once I developed some income and have a deadline set for moving out of their place no matter if getting a income does not work out. It is kind of a desperate move and I want to wait till August to seriously think of doing that but I think it might be reasonable to some people. I am a trustworthy person with no criminal background and this time around I want to reach my actual goal. That way I can work with job services or find a roommate with my disability check or looking for jobs in the area and they would be more comfortable that I actually living there. I would think a disability organization would be more sympathetic to minorities but I guess policies have to be in place.
     
  2. well taking the disability out of it, basically its the same thing for everyone that wants to relocate.

    if you want to move to another city, sure go ahead, but you have to have a job to support yourself and a place to stay. the disability service sounds like they are willing to help you find a job if you have established residency in the place you want to live. too many people want to move to this place or that place and when it comes down to the wire, they either do not move or back out. so i can see why the job service has that rule. the fact that you are gay does not factor into this equation and has nothing to do with it. yes, they may be able to point you in the direction for gay resources once you get to your new city or help you find a job that may be gay-friendly but it doesn't change anything.

    employers also typically DO NOT want to hire people that are already in the city where the job will be. the only exceptions to this is when you already have a job and you're a transfer to the same company, or if you are a high-level executive doing a job search, or if you are a high-level executive and the company in the other city has reached out to you because you have unique skills that would be perfect for the job and they are willing to court you to come to the new city. if you are unemployed, none of those things are working in your favor.

    the best way to relocate to the city of your choice is to move there first and then look for a job. but most housing places will not give you an apartment or have you sign the lease if you do not have verifiable income. maybe your disability check (if approved) would be a source of verifiable income but often they want you to make 2 or 3 x the amount of the monthly rent. so if your disability income isn't that high, they still may not rent you the apartment. one other strategy is to see if you can stay with a friend or family member living in your chosen new city for a few weeks or months while you look for a job. you can then use their address on your applications and resume' and then the employers will think you live there.

    the best course of action would be for you to get stable income/work experience where are you at and then gradually transfer or look for opportunities in your new city.
     
  3. dano218

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    Well I am not sticking around here I can you tell that. I live in a town with a few gay guys and no social life and I am moving to the big city no matter what it takes. I also would try to find a roommate which would help with having a disability check and also apply for housing assistance. Even if I get a job a roommate would be a ideal situation. You have idea the struggle I am in with this area and the way I am treated. A organization should have a least bit of understanding of how it is to be a minority especially in small towns regardless of polices and I am not gonna settle for anything less. I had it up to here and I am not gonna let my boyfriend's death which brought me back home with no income cause I did not have a job at that time or a car and feel like I am being punished for him dying. I was near suicide the last time I lived in this fucked up small town and I am not gonna settle for anything less than what I want this time. I had enough and nothing is gonna stop me this time. The best course of action is to get the main goal and achieve anything to get it no matter what. I think I can find someone understanding to live with until I find a roommate or a job and that is the plan. I will not take waiting around like I did before for an opportunity to arise and I am fighting against all odds this time sorry.
     
    #3 dano218, Jul 14, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2015
  4. no need to say sorry. i think that is great. you have a great fire in your belly! that's amazing and you'll definitely need that courage and strength for your move. sure we'd love to have everything planned out in life but sometimes it doesn't happen. look at the pioneers back in 1800s in the U.S. they had no clue what was going to happen when they were headed west for new land. they packed up their belonging, got in a covered wagon, and rolled the dice. there would be no major cities west of Mississippi River without them. you'll do great things. congrats!
     
  5. dano218

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    Well it is gonna happen lol my bf believed in the pursuit of happiness and i am fighting for the true happiness I always wanted in a big city.
     
  6. QueerTransEnby

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    What happened to the gay guy who you were thinking of being a roommate with? I think it would still be a decent idea.
     
  7. dano218

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    Turned out to be a total basket case. Went to check out his apartment is is a piece of shit with a mess everywhere and the next morning i just left with him sleeping and sent him a text telling him no way will I live with you in a place like that. He did not sound really sure of himself anyway and not worth the time. Sucks but it is life i guess. Even thought I am kind of desperate it is not worth my dignity.