Hey guys, I'm not sure if this is the right sub-forum to post this thread but I need to get this out of me. :bang: So I've hooked up with two guys, my first time doing so after breaking up with my boyfriend last Dec. After hooking up with the first guy, he then casually mentioned that he had two kids and a wife, and I felt really awful for close to a week that I had helped him cheat on his partner and family. I put that in rear view and decided to be more cautious about who I hooked up with in future. About a week later, I hooked up with another guy this time from an online website, twice. I thought he wasn't attached on the first go, so I offered my place the following week and then he broke the news that he was attached to someone. I feel f*cked and really guilty to say the least even though I'm not the one in the relationship on both encounters. But, here I am having trouble getting over my previous relationship (no cheating was involved if you guys are wondering), and I just don't understand why some guys in a relationship (lucky them) go around sleeping behind their partners' backs. Some guys just seem to think that they can "have their cake and eat it too". Their attitudes disgust me and make me sick. I don't even know why I care when the sex wasn't even good (the second guy wasn't clean down there) to begin with, and the worst part was that he was 15 years older than me. Sorry for venting but there's no place else that I can let out steam. :bang::bang:
first im sorry that the guy did not wash his love zone. that's digusting and yes everyone stinks down there but that's why they make soap. moving on to larger issues. it's not like you knew they were in relationships. so you were an innocent sex-bystander. you are not in a relationship with their spouses so why is it your problem. not if you kept hooking up with them after knowing, i could see why you would feel bad, but even then, you're not the one luring in the guys. if they weren't hooking up with you it would be someone else and let's face it, they're probably hooking up with more guys as we speak. now on to why you feel bad. i think you feel bad about having the random sexual encounters. you probably feel like you deserve more than that but you were horny and wanted to get off and now you feel guilty about doing something outside your norm. best thing to do is to learn for it and not continuing hooking up because clearly you do not like it during (smelly fishy guy) and afterwards. so just stop it and focus on non-hookup dating.
My question: Why did these two guys tell you they were in relationships? The answer, I think: they felt guilty and wanted you to share in the guilt, or even transfer it to you, like it was YOUR fault They cheated. Don't let them do that. Don't accept guilt for what other people have done. You have done nothing wrong.
Camel is right, you've done nothing wrong. I hooked up with a "straight" married man after a few dates when he insisted he was gay & single. Nothing you can do about it. Just please tell me you were safe....
Thanks for the replies guys, I really appreciate it. I was safe on both encounters - both guys didn't bring their own protection and I was glad I did. They must have been doing it without protection with other hook-ups they have had... imagine the STDs they might unknowingly transmit to their partners. It's disgusting and I only have one word for them: scumbag. @timeforchange: Yeah I admit that I had a strong urge to fool around after a lull of more than 6 months. Non-hookup dating seems impossible though with gay guys being the minority. The only way to meet other gay guys seem to be online and apps, and gay clubs/bars which aren't the best places to meet other guys that want a LTR.
