I am at the beach for an entire week and all my family does is annoy each other. My sister is stressed out because my parents and my parents are always about to get into a fight and my moms about to cry. For some reason they all come to me and bitch about each other and I have to make it seem like I agree but also get them to not fight. I am dealing with my own problems atm I dont have time for theres. This voice keeps telling me to jump off the balcony and putting reasons to do it in my head and I accually dont see why not. I cried all last night because I wanted to jump but I was to scared of what the pain may be. I am considering going to the roof to see how it looks. I just cant go on like this. I tried to get help a year ago but my parents got mad that I had issues and refused. I just got caught smoking again and my dad took it all for himself then acted like I was stupid blah blah blah. The only reason I had to smoke then was because the stress was about to make me jump. This is the only thing I got to calm me down and keep me from going over the edge. Its not like I didnt try to get help but smoking works and it is all I got since no one will help me, I am referring to weed btw. I also dont know why my parents still pretend to raise me while not doing shit. I take care of myself all they do is give me a place to live which I would gladly leave if I could. I dont even ask them for shit anymore but they still treat me like a problem. This was my last try being happy. I am done living with these intolerant racist people and im done with this horrible life. I just need to find the bravery to go through with it now. Happiness is no longer my goal anymore because I always end up worse then I was. I really just dont know how to get through this week. I dont want to die but it seems like the only option now. I guess I will stay in the room until I figure this out.
Hi. First, I am so sorry you are in that situation. My heart goes out to you. You have done a great job reaching out today. We're here to help. Suicide is never, ever the answer. Please, if you feel like that, call a hotline. This one would work I think. Lifeline The pain you feel will pass. We're here to help you. You are loved. I hope this message finds you safe. Please continue writing. Remember: you are not alone and we're here for you.
Black00, please don't hurt yourself. I've been there and it never ends well. If you do jump, it will not turn out well. Think: in a few year's time, you will be out of your parent's house, and you will be able to leave them forever, if you want. You'll never have to see them again, if you don't want to. If you do kill yourself, then what? Nothing. You have over 60 years before you die for good (on average, probably much more by then), so do the dieing then. Do the living now. You can die whenever, you can only live once: now. So do it. Live.
