I have no one to talk to about this

Hi! (*hug*)
I get you when you say you couldn't spend a month without telling somebody about it. Maybe you should have waited a few months, or even years until doing such a thing. I hope you know by this point that no one should come out of the closet until they don't feel comfortable enough to do it and I think you didn't wait... but if you say you just wanted to get it off of your chest... well that is more powerful.
Whatever, we can't change the past.
I wanted to start the replay talking about that so you can recall all the things that you had to go through to discover and embrace your sexuality. Wasn't easy, right? Well, if you feel your gender is not the one they gave you when you were born, you will have to do it again. You will have to change your mind again and get used to things that seem strange now.
Ok, you probably know all this and reading it is just making your wrist to hurt even more. I will stop.
As I told before, you shouldn't come out as a queer before you feel ready. Nobody is forcing you to do so and nobody should. Take your time, relax, and when you feel ready, start with transition or whatever you need to do. If you feel like it has made your life a hell, I think this last sentence describes what you need now. Time.
Now, a few questions.
1) How old are you? Are you economically independent? If not, do you think that your parents will support you when you come out to them?
2) What are the reasons you think your life will be a hell if you are queer? Do you think people around you will be mean to you or that they will be unsupportive? Maybe you want to deepen this matter when you replay.
3) You always have people to talk to here in EC and if you want to talk i'm always willing to it
4) you shouldn't be ashamed of doubting about your gender or sexual orentation or about just whatever(i am saying this bc I could see some feeling of embarrasament in your post). Everyone's life paths are different and beautiful but it starts with wondering about important things like these.

Again (*hug*)
and sorry if I made some spelling or grammatical mistake, english is not my main language :rolle:

 

The reply above said most of the advice I could have had to offer.

However, I was going to suggest perhaps finding a 1 or 2 very close friends/family members who you trust to be supportive. From that point, you'll have somebody to share your feelings with and not have to keep everything to yourself.

As said before, frustrating as it is, you should only come out to your family if you're going to be safe, but if you do feel safe, then there's no shame in letting people know that you aren't 100% sure of your gender.

Basically, the idea is to weigh your safety if you come out against your mental health if you don't, and maybe compromise by only telling a person or two.