My girlfriend is pregnant AND..

I wish I could give you some advice here, but honestly I'm a firm subscriber to the "You cheat, and we're done" philosophy. I feel that if you let someone off the hook for cheating than they'll just do it again so it's better to just walk away at that point.

Ummm...

for advice if you're chosing to stay with her and help with the baby I'd say that you need to encourage her to start reading books on childcare, maybe attend some parenting classes, and you'll need to deal with going to the doctor fairly reguarly for checkups to make sure everything is okay with the baby.


I hope it all works out either way

 

Ok now I don't wanna sound like a negative Nancy or anything but why bother staying with her? Once a cheater always a cheater. It would be best to leave her now well you still can instead of getting married and then realize what you got yourself into.

 

I agree with everyone above.

If you want to stay with her stay with her, but i would definitely not marry her. That legally binds you to her and this situation.

She will most likely cheat on you again or betray you in a different manner. She lied to you, broke the trust, and had (i'm assuming) unprotected sex. That shows someone who has absolutely no respect for you.

Next question (as harsh as this may sound) does the man want to be involved with this child? Because if so you are also having to deal with two deceitful people (him and this girl) and then you never know these two might hook up again down the line. And if he doesn't want to be involved the next question is when she looks at you does she only see $$... you don't have to have an amazing job or be wealthy for someone to see you as just $$... So i would question her reason for going back to you. Is it really someone who wants to mend the broken relationship or someone who plans to use you?

So in the end it is your decision. But, if you do decide to stay with her, i wouldn't marry her because that is a legal contract.

Best of wishes!

 

I'm no relationship expert but I have to agree with everyone else once a cheat always a cheat I know you love her but what if she hurts you again?

 

First she cheats, then gets pregnant (she had unprotected sex with a stranger ffs!) and you still take her back and you'll take care of her and a baby you two didn't plan on having this way. I say - run. She just doesn't love you as much as you (probably) love her. People who love you don't cheat on you.

 

I agree with everyone else as well...committing to a baby and being married is a big life choice...I don't think you're ready for marriage especially since she just cheated on you. There's a lot that she needs to do to fix the relationship

 

If I can contribute with another voice here, it's perfectly legitimate to feel betrayed if your partner cheats on you. But monogamy is also unnatural. To resist a temptation when in the moment is very hard.

If you have moved on and you feel she is trustworthy and you want to help her raise the child, I can understand that is hard to do in your situation.

If your family resents her, you can begin with "I have to tell them, but I don't expect them to be happy with it." That way if/when the blow comes, it's not necessarily as hard. Make sure you plan how to handle it in case it goes bad. What will you say in your defence? How much will you take before you tell them enough is enough and you don't want to talk mroe about it unless they calm down (if it comes to that). And so on.

Are you financially secure and stable and so on?

How do you feel about your family in relation to the wedding?

 

I agree with everyone here that a cheat is a cheat and that is the worst kind of betrayal. But I believe in second chances. She made a mistake and cheated, but she does not have to suffer that forever, that depends on you. You really love her and I'm sure she loves you. How did the whole cheating happened? She got drunk or you two were in a fight or you were in a far place? If she truly is sorry and regrets what happened with that other person and if you really love and she loves you, there is no reason why you shouldn't forgive her. That is your decision, thought. I wish for you the best and go with your heart.

 

This is a hard situation. It does seem sudden to marry her, but I understand if you forgive her and that she wants to try to improve. Just be prepared for anything (including the hardships of raising the child).

If the cheating is the reason your parents hate her, they probably won't take the news well, regardless though.

 

Not to be too blunt, but history tends to repeat itself.

If you're ok with being cheated on again, then it makes sense to stay with her. I wouldn't be ok with that if it happened to me. It's probably easier for me to say without having experienced it, but I personally would hope that I would move on.