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Am I Alone?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by R999, Jul 27, 2015.

  1. R999

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Boston, MA
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm a 24 y/o Bi woman with a boyfriend whom I love. I know I'm bi but feel like a fake because I've never had sex with a woman. I'm having trouble being 100% confident in my relationship because I'm afraid I'll always wonder what could've been or regret never experimenting equally with both genders.
    Anyone else feel this way? HELP
     
  2. queermeerkat

    queermeerkat Guest

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    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    All the time, yo. All ppl have these what if moments and regret not doing things they could have, same goes for sexuality. Also there's this HUGE stereotype that bi ppl can't be in a satisfied monogamous relationship.
     
  3. Lyana

    Full Member

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    You're not alone. I've seen several similar posts online, here on EC or elsewhere.

    It's not uncommon, but it sucks. You're not a fake. You're someone in a loving relationship. Your orientation does not just disappear when you enter a relationship. If that relationship is real, there is absolutely no reason for you to feel fake. I know that, rationally, you know this, but I wanted to say it anyway.

    Have you spoken about this to your boyfriend? Does he know about your concerns? It sounds like it is affecting your relationship, so he deserves to know. At the very least, you need to figure out what you want. How important is your relationship to you? How important is it for you to experiment? You need to know if you can live with your monogamous relationship, and it's better for you to figure it out now than later on.
    If you really feel the need to "experiment," tell your boyfriend. Maybe opening your relationship could be a possibility. If not, then breaking up will be the only way for you, so you need to know if you can do that or not.
     
  4. GypsyButterfly

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NorCal
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I use to think I had to have experience, but, I understand myself well enough to know that's not the case. I've never had sex with a woman. I've held, touched & kissed. I've been attracted to, crushed on & fallen in love with. Sex for me is the least important aspect. Because of that, I don't do hookups. If passion develops within a relationship, ok. I need strong intellectual & emotional connections. I seek friendship, affection & romance.

    Recently, I discovered, that pan fits me better. Though, I don't care for labels, it's still nice to have a term that describes what I've always known myself to be, but, didn't have a word for. There is such a broad spectrum with orientation & gender identity. Maybe one day you will be able to explore. I still believe you can consider yourself bi.