Hi, I'm new and I'm really unhappy. I'm in a straight relationship and I have two beautiful children with this man but I know I'm not straight. I've known for a long time but my family are quite homophobic and I was hoping I could trick myself into thinking I was. It didn't work and now I feel stuck and depressed about it. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has been or is in the same situation.
That's a tough situation to be in-do you have/can you find a therapist to talk this out with? THough I'm sure with a bit of digging you can find friends on here who have previously been through this too. ---------- Post added 28th Jul 2015 at 03:57 PM ---------- Can't remember, I'll look for it and get back to you.
I would give you advice but I know this is way out of my league, so I would suggest trying the Coming Out forum on this site. There's also a website called 7cupsoftea where you can anonymously talk to ppl about what you're going through. Wish I could be more help
Many people realise the true extent of their feelings after they have been involved in a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, and had children - it's really not unusual. When the realisation comes upon you, it can be very difficult to stay, even if you still retain a certain amount of love and affection for the partner/spouse. How are things between you and the father of your kids? It's not just the relationship that stops people from making the break though as you will be considering all of the other factors too, including the reaction of the wider family/community and the impact on kids. Maybe you can tell us what is going through your mind as you process all of your thoughts and feelings? Visiting your doctor may help, but if you can speak about all of the issues with a counsellor it may bring better results for you. Your doctor may be able to offer a referral. If you can speak about how you feel in confidence to someone it may help a lot. You may wish to consider contacting a helpline to talk on a one to one basis if there is a wait or problem with counselling. Better to talk to someone who can offer support than deal with this alone. Of course, you can share all of your thoughts with us too. Have you looked at the later in life support area of this forum? Many of the threads and discussions there are focused on issues like you are facing now, so you may find it helpful to read some of the advice and comments offered in recent and past threads. Really sorry you are struggling with this and feel so depressed. Don't bottle it up!
Like Patrick said^, don't bottle it up. If you can let the pain out in healthy amounts at a time, seek help online and counselling/therapy where you can process your feelings, and think of a strategy for how to overcome your situation so that you can be in a new situation in which you're happier, you can see that things get a lot better for you. Lots of love! You deserve much, much better than this. There is a solution and things will get better. You're beautiful just the way you are and I'm proud of you for reaching out. (*hug*)
You have every right to tell your husband you want more out of life than he can give you. You still have your own life to live. Your relatives feelings mean even less in comparison. But your children are a different matter. You MUST, MUST, MUST do what is in their best interest no matter how unhappy that may make you.
