My Boyfriend has told me he is Bi, but I truly believe he's gay and in denial.

Hi guys, I'm new here and looking for some advice!

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and although he hasn't had any real problems "performing" with our sex life, there are a few things I've noticed that have made me suspicious that he is gay and not sexually attracted to me at all.

I'm a 23yo bisexual woman, and he is a 22yo bisexual man. He told me he was straight when we first got together and then admitted to me that he is in fact bi about 6 months later after becoming very distant and cold towards me.

I have no issues what so ever with him being bi, I actually found it to be a massive turn on. However, seeing that he has only had sexual experience with one man in his life, it left me feeling like he might have trouble staying faithful to me when he is clearly interested in exploring his feelings in a same-sex coupling.

We dealt with that fear of mine and we moved on. However, recently I have been feeling like there is something missing in our relationship and I have strong feelings that he is not bi, he is gay and in denial about it. The only thing about this that bothers me is that it means he will never truly be happy with me. I really want him to be happy and true to himself.

I've read an awful lot of posts and threads and stuff on this, and the advice often given is that I should pretty much just wait for him to come to terms with his identity and just put up with it until then. But it's really starting to get me down. Every time I touch him, I can feel him soften a little (sorry if that's too graphic) and when he touches me I don't really feel like he actually wants to be doing it. He hates going down on me and has admitted a few times that he often only has sex with me because he feels pressured in to doing it, despite me never actually initiating sexual contact or actively pressuring him in to anything.

I guess I'm struggling so much because he has admitted his bisexuality to me, and perhaps he is just bi and I'm being paranoid, or maybe he's just come out as bi so that he can maintain this relationship with me.

The thing is, I know that I am the perfect person to support him through this. If he is gay, the only thing about that that would upset me is that I couldn't be with him. I'm not angry that he's lied or that he's pretending, because I understand how hard it is for a person to come to terms with their queer-ness in a world so obsessed with heterosexuality and conformity.

His family are rather homophobic, and I know they wouldn't be too happy about the idea of him being gay. I do, however, believe that they would eventually see past their prejudices and accept him for who he is. As would his friends (a few of them are gay and none of the straight ones give a shit). I just want him to be happy and help him come to terms with himself.

I don't really know if I'm looking for advice or if I just want people's thoughts on my situation. I don't want to sit him down and share my suspicions in case he gets upset or angry at me, but I also can't put up with feeling inadequate anymore. I don't just want to dump him and move on, I want to help him be his truest self.

Please can someone tell me what they really think of all this, if only to stop me from going insane?

Thanks in advance xx