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Does this seem wrong? I am relieved that my uncles friends wife has passed away (?)

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ChloeKiss, Jul 30, 2015.

  1. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

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    She had cancer and was struggling so much.. so yes that is part of my relief that she isn't suffering anymore but.. she also said once and i'm assuming as sort of a wish before she died or like.. as like something she wanted for her son and thought I was the perfect girl for it.. She told me INFRONT of a bunch of my family that I should get with her son.. or like how he was so ''handsome'' okay he's a nice kid right but HOLY GOOD GOD IT WAS SO AWKWARD! My mother knows i'm a Lesbian and she could see how I was reacting. I kept telling the sick mother how ''Trust me i'm not the right girl'' and ''I am sorry but that's just not gonna happen.. he's a nice kid but I have my reasons'' I couldn't come out then and there because my grandparents were there and my nan is fucking conservative and annoys the shit out of me with her anti gay shit. I wanted so bad to tell the sick mother how big of a Lesbian I am and how I have zero attraction to men but I couldn't. I was talking to mum and her bf last night (They BOTH know i'm a lesbian) And the topic of that night came up of how awkward it was when the woman was trying to get me with her son and I told them ''It was so awkward.. I'm as gay as a nail'' And how ''I was so not the girl she was looking for to date her son'' They laughed and mum said during the convo how the lady thought ''Chloe was the prettiest thing'' and I was like.. So awkward mum because you know.. I just.. i'm gay :lol: And she just said ''You're a dime in a million Chloe'' as I walked up the stairs. Mum cares about me she just thought the situation was so funny.

    So now that the lady is dead yes i'm relieved she isn't in pain anymore but i'm also relieved that now she finally knows why I wouldn't date her son.. I mean if there is a life after death now she knows. That brings me peace. Is that wrong?
     
    #1 ChloeKiss, Jul 30, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2015
  2. wisefolly

    wisefolly Guest

    Re: Does this seem wrong? I am relieved that my uncles friends wife has passed away (

    I don't think that it's wrong to feel that way, not least for her being at peace now. But the awkwardness of her statements were rude once she kept at it after you had gently rebuffed her. I mean, sure, maybe it was her illness that was keeping her from realizing the (I'm assuming) very obvious discomfort in your body language if not YOUR ACTUAL WORDS but still, I don't see it as not rude just because she was sick. The comments would have been just as unwelcome and inappropriate if you were straight but genuinely had no interest in him, or if you were straight and he was gay, or if both of you were gay!

    Basically my philosophy is: just because you're sick doesn't mean all rude behavior is acceptable; and deathbed wishes are horribly selfish unless it's to tell your loved one "Be happy in your life."
     
  3. Bolt35

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    Re: Does this seem wrong? I am relieved that my uncles friends wife has passed away (

    not really... you just have another way of looking at the situation, in other ways people might've perceived it. they might've freaked out a bit right then and there but you took it a bit well. if you find solace in knowing she's not suffering and she probably knows in the afterlife, then i think that could be a normal. we all got different ways to cope with it. regarding the situation, look at it this way, at least your last memory of her wasn't a sad or depressing one. you might even look back at it and might laugh a bit.
     
  4. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

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    Re: Does this seem wrong? I am relieved that my uncles friends wife has passed away (

    I appreciate both of your replies! Well written :slight_smile: more are welcome! Thanks x