A couple days ago I came back from a bar drunk with my friend. This is a friend I really care about and someone I kind of have a crush on but I feel like he's out of my league so I've never made any advances on him. But this night we went home and watched a movie too fall asleep and half through the movie starting intensely making out. He then said he wanted to have sex and wanted me to bottom. I wanted to but was scared because one I have only bottomed a few times and I usually prepare myself for it since I didn't prepare for it this time I was worried I would have an accident or just really embarrass myself in front of him. And I also was worried about how awkward it would feel around our friends when we hung out next time. So we ended up not doing anything and we just feel asleep cuddling. The next day I put it in my head that maybe he wanted to do it because he also had a crush on me and this idea has snowballed into paranoia to the point that when I hang out with him I'm worried that he's judging me for not doing it with him and now wants nothing to do with me. Is what I did stupid of me I feel like I should've just gone for it and maybe I would feel better and it would've led to something. I feel very anxious and I don't know how to act around him now.
Hey, what you did was normal and totally fine. You weren't ready so you shouldn't blame yourself. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not doing something you weren't ready for [If that makes sense]. Maybe try to pull him aside and ask him if everything is okay between you two, maybe even explain how it made you feel. Hope everything goes well between you two.
