Battling with Depression

Your issue really speaks to me. I've been battling with my own depression for several years now, and it was tough for me to find anything to live for before I found my partner and started aspiring to become a novelist. You sound a lot like a character in one of my books I'm writing that has issues with coming to terms about his sexuality due to growing up in a toxic environment, and the fact that his best friend is extremely homophobic. It eats and eats away at him for quite a long time until someone in his group of friends notices he's not doing as well as he usually is, and he finally comes out of the closet to them, much to the shock of his best friend.

I have it in the story that he does lose best friend for a little while until the friend comes to terms about himself, realizing that it should not have caused any damage to their friendship in the first place, since they have been really good friends for years without much of any trouble. The two of them are able to make up and be able to go back to being friends.

I wrote this character's story in my book because at the time I was going through the same issue of being afraid to come out of the closet myself about not only my bisexuality but my object sexuality as well (minus the homophobic friend part, of course), to the point that it fueled my depression enough to nearly push me over the edge. :icon_sad:

What I believe you should do is find a time when your family is all together and quietly but surely come out to them. If they have any issues with you coming out, remind them of how they felt about you before you came out of the closet. If all goes well, you will be able to get a heavy burden off of your chest and be all the better for it. I don't want you to turn out like I almost did. I'd hate for anyone to endure the kind of internal suffering I used to feel, and still feel to some degree. If your situation doesn't get any better, then reassure yourself that you'll always have your friends here at EC to be your shoulder to cry on and be at your side every step of the way.

 

Hi, Gamer. I hear you loud and clear.

There are a lot of things to do when you are fighting depression.

First, what you have already done and should be proud for, is that you have acknowledged that you have a problem. And I can promise you, the problem can be solved and will be solved with support, maybe professional help, some effort and a bit of time, if you only stay safe. Please be safe.
What you have also done, and should also be proud of, is that you have started reaching out for help. That is great. I want you to know that you're not now nor ever alone. We're here for you, and others will be there for you.

The next step would be to think of a support network and think about giving professional help another try. You say it "never worked". Well, I did the exact same thing when I was younger. I went there and I didn't like it. Well, you can try again. I did. And so can you, I know you can. I believe in you and you are valuable; others will see that too when you reach out, and it's going to help you. I really think you should consider giving professional help such as counselling or therapy another try.
About your support network. Do your parents know you are depressed? It's good if you start reaching out. If you haven't done that andyou're scared of how to do that or so, ask for advice about that, explaining your situation, and we can help you.

You. Are. Great. And if you feel lonely, you can chat with me any time. I totally get how you're feeling too, I've been there/am there.

Take care of yourself. And be safe. You matter. To me, to Empty Closets, and many others.

(*hug*) Big hugs (*hug*)