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Old 6th Aug 2015, 02:25 AM   #1
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Good doctors are hard to find

Hi guys bit of a rant.


you may have read about some of my previous posts about losing both my parents now gone .. (they were both elderly at time of passing and my father being the last..) ..

I'm 45 now..

I have started with therapy also which I talked about before on here,
which has been good but very emotional and draining ! spending lots of time under my
bed sheets crying my eyes out..

and for the last year or so been trying to find a decent GP (doctor)
any way the Gp I used to go to is still practicing , so I went back to her.

First visit was just a bit of a catch up, she actually used to live behind our farm !
and I knew her kids , all grown up now.. (makes me feel old !).

any way went back today and told her about my therapy and being gay...
and losing my dad, which she new about and other financial problems I'm having and things like selling the family home , was extremely difficult for me...

I told her and my therapist things I have never ever ever dared to tell any one..


Thought I'd be ok but as I was telling her this I just freaking broke down in tears...
cried my eyes out so much I was a shamed , wanted to run and hid some where.

I haven't done that since my dads funeral almost 16 months ago..
actually I don't think I did that at my dads funeral..
it was strange cause with my mothers , almost 9 years ago I
had to leave the funeral mid way thru, was too much for me..

I'm feeling very emotional and drained right now..
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Old 6th Aug 2015, 04:47 AM   #2
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Re: Good doctors are hard to find

I can't imagine the pain you go through when losing a parent as I haven't faced that hurdle in life yet. You may not think your dealing with it but the fact you are living and trying to talk about it shows you have a strength in you. Crying and freaking out is normal the more you do this, the more you will learn to understand (hope that's the right word) the strength you have. You may not think you have it or anyone to support you but you do.

If you need a shoulder to cry on, I have two
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Old 6th Aug 2015, 05:44 AM   #3
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Re: Good doctors are hard to find

Hi, I am new here so I am not familiar with your situation.

It isn't clear to me why you are in need of a GP. And why do you consider other GPs as "not so good", at least that's what I deduce from what you said "Good doctors are hard to find". If they are unable to address your needs perhaps a Specialist is a more proper option.

Let's tackle a more evident problem you have here. Grieving or the grief process is a normal reaction to loss. In your case of a loved one. However in your case at 16 months and still at the grips of grieving it is taking on something more serious. You see the normal grieving process is 6months, but you have gone beyond that considerably. I believe, though I do not substitute my opinion with that of a Psychiatrist. You may have acute major depressive disorder. It is important that you address this with a competent and licensed Psychiatrist who may aid you with various modes of treatment such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or some medications such as Anti-depressants.

It seems you have lost too much too soon. With the death of both parents, financial constraints which led to selling of your house, etc. It is apparent that you are having difficulty coping with this situation at hand, we have a set of normal coping mechanisms which in your case seem to be unable to address your "stressors" which in turn has resulted to your current condition.

Perhaps your parents where part of your coping mechanism before they sadly passed away. It is important that you now find a new support system which can replace the role that your parents had played in your life.

Another way of dealing with this is diverting your negative feelings or emotions into something more positive. Perhaps engage in a hobby. Some people release their feelings and emotions through exercise. Others find going out with friends or talking with them another outlet. I do not recommend you go drinking, do drugs, self medicating shopping sprees as these are band aid solutions that may in the long run just cause further hardships in your part, addiction, further debt.

Of course nothing we can say can substitute for the help a Psychiatrist may accord you. Although I hope our insights may help you even in the smallest of ways.

Last edited by Blue787Bunny; 6th Aug 2015 at 05:52 AM..
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Old 6th Aug 2015, 07:00 AM   #4
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Re: Good doctors are hard to find

thanks guys, I realize this may be longer for most to Grieving time, take my mother, it was easier to handle with my dad around.. now he's not...

I also don't mean that the doctors haven't been bad, just haven't been happy with them.
Nothing racist or anything I don't care about who or where they come from , as long as they are good...

some of them just look at their computers and read and not look at you..

the lady doc I am seeing now sits in front of you and talks to you..

I know I have a long road ahead, and I guess we all deal with things differently..
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